I just saw your PM too. Good work posting here. Your dealer is full of crap.

Your car is pre-wired for phone, and the BT TCU installation is an official DIO for your car. If BMW North America won't help. Then I recommend the full BT retrofit kit from BMW Bluetooth Retrofit Information. Contact a local, reputable car audio installer and ask them if they would be willing to install the Bimmernav kit for you. If so, buy that and get the installer to take care of it. It is very easy. That kit will do everything except BMW Assist.

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SOLD
2000 E38 750iL Highline Edition, Upgraded with the lastest 2006 X5 Electronics
MKIV Navigation, 16:9 Display, Bluetooth, TV/Video with Backup Camera, Sirius, and Aux Input