Originally Posted by ABMW

Ride is stiffer with adaptive suspension, even if it's not in sport-mode.

By no means is it softer. The harshness is close to a 335i with the sport package. If you're looking for a soft ride AVOID the adaptive drive.

I have it, and while I enjoy the ride, others have commented about the harshness.

In uphill twisty roads it handles exceedingly well for a 5900+ lbs. truck.

The ML350 is garbage, compared to the X5. Everything from the lightness of its steering, which is borderline dangerous, to the plastic switch quality which is straight out of a Kia, it's behind the BMW on all regards in my opinion.

I really have never driven a $50k+ vehicle that felt as cheap as the Mercedes ML350. Get the BMW, but save the $3500 on the adaptive drive and put it towards something worthwhile, especially since you're wife is going to be very unhappy with the firm ride.