Good questions, I just bought an X5 and your right, the price varies greatly.
In my experience by looking at a car it has shown me that the way it was taken care of, says a lot about a vehicle, I for example one time passed a vehicle which claimed it had only 79,000 miles for a car that had 111,000 miles, same price, because going all over the vehicle, service records, engine, all around.. the one with 111,000 miles was immaculate...
The great news about going with the one with 111,000 miles was that the previous owner changed the full cooling system on it (it usually went bad about 100,000 miles..) It was a BMW E36, 1998, with the 2.5 inline 6...
So in essence buying the one with MORE MILES was smarter than buying the one with less miles, due to the previous owner changing most of the things that go bad about that mileage...
Also
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2004 X5 3.0, black on black on black...
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