Sorry that happened to you. It is a pretty common issue that many people on this forum are aware of. Seems to be a post about it every single day. This member got BMW to pick up the tab and he was out of warranty as well. Maybe you could call this dealer or find one who is willing to cooperate with you.
http://www.xoutpost.com/bmw-sav-foru...na-pickup.html
Edit; Sorry, I thought this dealer was in NY as well. Also, if you want to find more information on it, do a search for "oil seperator" at the top right of the page and see how many threads there are regarding this issue.