You could try ECS Tuning. They list the module for the X5, and may be able to get it if you talk to them. They are a board sponsor.
On the X5 it is just under $200. It was available when I put a hitch on my X5, but on my X3 I bought it together with the OEM hitch for around $400 CDN.
Edit: I checked the ECS site, and if you search on the part number you have they have it, and it looks just like what I just installed on my 2007 X3.
BMW E53 X5 M54 3.0L > Search > 71600303881 > ES#185406 ELECTRIC KIT - 71600303881
Jeff
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2007 X3 3.0si, 6 MT, Premium, White
Retired:
2008 535i, 6 MT, M Sport, Premium, Space Grey
2003 X5 3.0 Steptronic, Premium, Titanium Silver
2002 325xi 5 MT, Steel Grey
2004 Z4 3.0 Premium, Sport, SMG, Maldives Blue
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