Mr Blonde ..

I was in the exact same situation family wise. went through a lot of research before buying X5.

I had an 09 model 35d (New) delivered Dec last year ..had some technical problems with it so eventually swapped it out for latest 2010 model Innovation (its a 35d)

A few things to think about carefully:

whilst 20's look great make sure you test drive the 18's, 19's and 20's first before committing ...20's make the ride a little harsher (but do look great)..this is amplified somewhat by having sports suspension .. if you opt for adaptive drive then all that goes away ..but at a cost of course (around 6k I think).... adaptive drive sounds fantastic but not many option it up ..cost I suspect ...personally I think it should be standard on a $100k + vehicle in this class.

Sports seats ..make sure you fit and like them (and your wife) ..some people complain about the shape of them ... try the comfort seats for size and if you can afford it option up to them .... I only have standards seats (with memory and all that) and they're pretty good to be honest ..

3rd row .. if your kids are getting to the age where they dont need boosters (7+) then you may want to consider that ..esp when you want to start lugging their little mates around etc ... my kids are only 5 and 3 so will likely get them on next X5 model in 2013/2014 when I can actually make use of them ..

stereo - if you lke music then upgrade ..the standard system is shit

innovation (HIDS, folding mirror, auto tailgate etc) - is worth the money. our 09 did not have this, but our new one does and we love these features

sunroof - no brainer, get it (kids love it too)

Head up dispaly - take a demo X5 out that has one. I don't have it ..but wish I did now after driving a loaner 5 series for a month ... a real licence saver as you are constantly reminded about your speed .. a big deal here in VIC. also syns well with new NAV system ....

comfort access - I dont have it..but once again if ordering again would get it .. means you dont have to fluff around with your keys for access and dont have to insert key into stupid slanted slot to start the vehicle .. great when raining and you just want to bundle family into car quickly and go ..worth every bloody cent and I regret not stretching to get it ...

that's my two cents worth ...

aside - I'm now looking at moving up to 50i later this year ... the diesel is ok but I just don't do the KM to get any saving .. short school runs means I'm getting 15-16 l /100 km - far from the promised 11 city number advertised .. I dont punt it too hard either ..so I figure I might as well get 50i and have some fun for an extra $20 bucks a week in gas (we'd do about 7000km per year if we're lucky) ...just waiting for BMW to update their website with details of 2011 models so that I can get an idea of what's changed in terms of standard features etc etc ...

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2010 35d Innovations
AW with great Tint

AW is the new black you know