I'm not fully clued up on it mate, but you need to assign a button on the display and then you can use it to pair.

OK, been out to mine

Go to main menu, then press setup, then setup keys, then display LKP, then select the phone button and scroll to the BT pair button and select. then go back to the main menu.

Then LKP (long key press) the phone button (ignition stage 1, radio circuit) and then away you go mate,

BTW the phone needs to be available in the main menu....

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Sept 03, M3, Silver Grey. Retro-fits: Modded Mk4 DVD Drive, OEM Bluetooth, VR Control, Rainbow Speaker Upgrade, Sony SOT Amp, HK Sub, CCFL, Intravee II, NightMode.