Glad you guys are OK.

If the other driver is at fault you should definitely push HIS insurance company to total your vehicle. I've been unfortunate enough to have been through a similar situation with my wife being T-boned while stationary waiting at a stop sign in our less than 1 month old Lexus. It really opened my eyes to how much of a PITA insurance claims can be.

I would also inform them that you or BMW depending on if this vehicle was purchased or leased will be seeking the loss of value of the vehicle on top of whatever the repair costs are. Usually that is enough to get them to total it. Remember it's the insurance companies job to get out of this as cheaply as possible. It's rare that their first offer is actually fair in my experience.

Good luck and again glad you guys are OK.