Talked to my Indy guy last night.
Here are his recommendations.

He will change all the fluids using BMW spec fluids.

He and his friend who has a BMW only shop told me not to change the tranny fluid. He looked at my warranty and said if the tranny fails, have it replaced.
He did say he would replace the transfer case fluid but leave the differentials alone as well.

Along with that he would also do the wiring for my trailer hitch (I am going with the mod lite as suggested by several members on the forum)

I feel better now