That SES to 54pin is pretty damn cool! There is a
DB25 to 54 pin too.
When you feel like it, dig out what's under the centre console. I *think* there's another set of connectors under there for an eject box. Google images may be a good first port of call.
For the ULF, Gen13 is reqd for best iPhone compatibility. An eject box or pairing button is mandatory. For the TCU, paring needs neither, is accomplished via the steering wheel. Try to get a 2006 X5/X3 TCU for best internal software.
I also think in Americaland eBay you can buy a V60 BT plug in adapter for $200 ish. Yes you have V50 there but the socket may well be the same if not the cradle.