You state that you have a 4.4, which has the ZF transmission. I would have expected the Esso LT 71141 fluid spec, not Dexron. Trust the label on your transmission, though.

Yes, you need a new pan gasket.

See the various how to articles posted here for torque specs.

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2007 X3 3.0si, 6 MT, Premium, White

Retired:
2008 535i, 6 MT, M Sport, Premium, Space Grey
2003 X5 3.0 Steptronic, Premium, Titanium Silver
2002 325xi 5 MT, Steel Grey
2004 Z4 3.0 Premium, Sport, SMG, Maldives Blue