Few points that may help. You only get load leveling if you order the 3rd row seat option.

Active steering isn't a option on the diesel, nor is active cruise. You do get use to the heavier steering after a day or so ... now I really like it.

As for the comment about the 2009 v 2010 diesel you drove. There should be no difference. Sounds like the 2009 had some issues that needed addressing.