I was successful in getting into the X5 and in a weak attempt to redeem myself as the fishy new member I would like to share my method. Moderators if this method seems over the line to be posting openly please delete. It was quick and simple, but I would find it ineffective for a would be thief as the police visited me in short order once I started.

1. I visited a family member with an '03 X5 and traced the pathway of the plastic line for the emergency hatch release.
2. Used a T20 torx to remove the license plate light bar.
3. Held my breath as I drilled a 3/8" hole to the passenger side of the latch.
4. Checked the hole, then continued to drill through an internal panel as well.
5. I went back to my trusty coat hanger, bent a hook on the end, and grabbed the emergency release cable.
6. Alarm sounded, Hatch popped open, crawled through to push the central latch button and double pulled the handle.
7. Success!!! The hole is completely concealed with the reinstallation of the light bar.

Now I'm still not in clear, the rear doors are still locked and the central lock button on the console is not functioning. I plan on doing the battery replacement outlined in another thread and reprogramming the key to see if I can "clear" the alarm. Does this sound correct?