Alright, I changed the filter to a genuine BMW and changed the fluid again, did it a full 4 times drain (used 15 qts) and refill with Dex6 to get the Mobil1 one out of there.

Everything is perfect. Shifts better no slipage ever. I realized I had gotten used to milder slippage from a dead stop, trouncing the gas pedal while passing, and going up hills. The new filter and the right fluid seems to have fixed it. I'm guessing the aftermarket filter couldn't keep up with the demand of the transmission under a load.

Here's a question. The new filter did not come with new bolts for the pan. I use the old ones out of 20 bolts I was able to torque 14 or 15 of them to 15 ft lbs. The other 5, I could only torque them to around 5 ft lbs. They felt like they were stretching.

I've driven about 300 miles and no leaks. should I just leave it until next time or should I go buy the bolts and replace them?

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2002 BMW X5 3.0
2006 Ford Explorer 6 cyl
1998 VW Jetta 2.0 GLS
2004 Honda VTX1800C 100hp 97 lb of torque