During the split-second overrev, the PCV valve failed in a catastrophic manner. Still, limping under light load got me to the house, which was a mile away. During the short limp home, the DME did not put engine into failsafe mode. Check engine came on but never flashed. As I pulled into the driveway, the OBC went "ding" and reported that the X5 was a quart down on oil. There's probably still a good half quart in the cats.

Picture of plugs arranged as in engine

4-8
3-7
2-6
1-5

Pictures of intake ports are shown in order by cylinder number, 1-8

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Previously owned: '03 4.6iS Dinan Supercharged