after much research I'm at the following (not everything ordered yet:

Subframe Bushings ORDRED
blunttech x4 $117 shipped
FEBI Subframe Mount - Rear,W0133-1665412 - Blunt Tech.com

Ball Joints - HAVE

Integral Link - $20 x2 $40 shipped
BMW Integral Link - FCP 33321090030 | FCP Euro

Guiding suspension link x2
$37 x2 shipped = $74
BMW E53 Control Arm X5 3.0 4.4 4.8 REAR 00-06 NEW L=R | eBay

Wishbone Left
$47 shipped
BMW E53 Control Arm X5 3.0i 4.4i 00-06 REAR UPPER LEFT | eBay

Wishbone Right
$47 shipped
BMW E53 Control Arm X5 3.0i 4.4i 00-06 REAR UPPER RIGHT | eBay

$503 BLAUFERGNUGEN full suspension package ORDERED
BMW Shocks - BMW X5 Shocks - Blausport BMW X5 Shock Absorber Kit


Rear Pads + Rotors blunttech $78 ORDERED

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2006 Audi A3 2.0t DSG apr stage 2
2002 BMW X5 4.4
1997 BMW 328ic sport. moreagrun metallic
1989 BMW 325is with / M50b25nv swap