I've put my plans on hold for now. This forum sure doesn't make X5 ownership seem like a positive experience! I'd like to think part of the issue is that the owners with negative experiences are the ones who are the vocal majority and there are thousands of happy X5 owners out there who've never had a complete transmission or cooling system failure.

Ultimately, I want a vehicle that can carry 4 adults, tow 5000lbs and will be reliable for long highway trips - but I do not want a full size truck. I'm not in any rush to get one so I'll keep searching. In the meantime, thank you all for your help.

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Push the envelope, watch it bend.