the transmission re-learns your style everytime you start the car... there is extensive coverage of this subject on this forum and on the other BMW forums... when you start driving aggressively, it shifts aggressevely... when you drive like a grandma, it shifts softer.. but still, even when it is soft, it is still hard...

the MID resetting is probably due to a poor contact somewhere... check to see if the dash has been tampered with, if anyone installed an AUX input into the glove comartment, if there is a phone holder there... they might have knocked something, like a wire, off...