pin 10 and 12 on the harness without the trailer module - power is present... works as expected...

meanwhile, here are the part numbers for the connectors -

61 13 1 378 138 - 12 pin plug - need 1

61 13 1 378 136 - 12 pin plug, mates with the 138 - need 1

61 13 0 007 570 - male pin with 1 foot wire - need 2

or, instead of part 570

61 13 1 376 191 - male pin without wires, needs crimping - need 2

pull the pins 10 and 12 from the trailer plug harness (on the car side), insert those two pins into the part 138, anywhere.... wire the rear fogs to the battery area, crimp the ends to the male pins 191 (or crimp to the wire from part 570), insert the male pins into the part 136, to coincide with the pins in part 138...

this way you will have a connection as OE as they get...

removing the pins 10 and 12 from the trailer module does not affect the operation of the trailer module and does not affect the possible wiring for the pin 3 from the original write-up, as the pin 3 is activated by the trailer module based on the iBus telegram, and not based on any voltages on the pins 10 and 12...

voila!!!