My 05 4.4i had similar transmission problems (100k miles):
- hard shift from 1st to 2nd when I accelerate slowly
- noticable gear change from 2nd to 1st as I come to a stop. Tends to push the car forward just as you are stopping
- very hard shift if you accelerate before coming to a complete stop.
To try and solve this I first did a change of ATF fluid using RedLine D6 (approx 5 quarts). After this all three problems were still there but were noticeably less. That was a good start, but I had hoped it would help even more.
The next thing I did was to "reset adaptation values" using the DIS V57 software. This is the page showing where I did this in the software.
This worked miracles and completely resolved the first two problems I had. After resetting the values, I was still able to make the 3rd problem reappear, but it was significantly better than before. There is another option on this page to "reset the control unit" in the transmission, but I am nervous about trying that. I am quite happy with how resetting the adaptation values has fixed most of my problems - this almost seems the same as rebooting your computer after it has been running for weeks. Everything works better as the computer resets a number of values and it seems to run more smoothly.