Well KC, I tend to echo a lot of your concerns. I've also owned a pretty good sampling of vehicles (mostly German), and my 2002 X5 4.4, has been a real let down! I bought it because it seemed to be a good deal, with relativley low mileage (111Km/66M). I've owned it for about 8 months now, and have had the pleasure of fixing:
-Coolant expansion tank
-Valley pan gasket (PITA!)
-Valve cover gaskets
-Thrust arm bushings
-Mystery clunk from the rear (loose Trailer hitch)

It seems to drive OK now, but there are still a bunch odd electrical issues:
-Bizzare intermitant stereo issues (distorted sound, won't read CD's)
-Periodic starter clunk, and failure to start (seems to work 2nd try?)
-Odd behaviour with the door locks
- Oh, and an abnoxious periodic squeal from the brakes (not wear)

I previously had a '97 528i, with a lot more mileage that never gave me a fraction of the issues that this pig has. In fact, this rig has left me with such a sour taste for BMW that it made me sell my '04 M3 Convertible.

The manager of one of the shops that I deal with said, "BMW's are nice vehicles, but they sure don't like getting old!". I think that he is spot on, and the build quality for the X5 seems to be exceptionally poor.

Good Luck! Chances are you're going to need it!

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Current Rides:
2002 X5 4.4i (04/02 Build)
2004 M3 Conv.
2005 Suzuki V-Strom 650