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Here is the schematics of that cable... there are only so many ways you can go...
do you have a 300 kOhm resistor laying around somewhere? you could pick one up from the shack, and test the pins on the car harness, to see, which pins will pick up the AUX... or... test the harness itself for the resistance - just gotta remember, that one side (the 3.5mm side) will not measure resistance, as there are two capacitors in line with each audio wire...
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