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jcorreanyc,
I have since sold my X . . . sad . . . and I miss the darn thing. Still looking for the right X5M and now leaning towards a 911 Turbo. I've digress . . .
It's all preference. I purchased my H&R lowering kit from the Tire Rack as well as the HD Bils front struts. They sat in my garage for a few months when I was looking for the rears. If you look at the Bilstein catalog or anywhere else that sells them, the information you'll get for the rear shocks states that they do not fit the rear air suspension. It's a catalog error. I don't recall the part number but if you search for hoaesq, you'll probably find a post where I provide the correct info.
Back to your question: "Is it too firm - with the lowered H&R and HD Bils." Initially, they were firmer than I expected but that was fine with me. The darn thing killed the corners and looked much better than stock height without the "slammed" look. I was initially worried about "slamming" the ride but it actually was tasteful. Once the struts and shocks were "broken in", the ride was a bit firmer than the stock sport ride. Some of the roads out here in the bay area are crap as well but I didn't mind as I was not agreesive in driving over certain roads. I think it is well worth the trade off. After all, it's not that hard to replace the struts and shocks. I think it took me a few hours from start to finish without any help.
When I sold teh X, the guy that bought it love the height and how smooth and well the X5 handles for a 7-8 year old SAV. I think that was the big seller . . . in addition to me taking care of it.
PM me and I can send you pics.
Best of luck.
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