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Unless I'm missing something, for all intents and purposes the issue you describe don't sound like something a Dealership should have sold or presented as a "good buy". Rather than fixing this car or trying to off load it, I would be screaming hell for some kind of resolution from the Dealer and also BMW NA for the nerve to tell state you are not their kind of clientele. That reeks to me.
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2003 X5 4.4L Sport Model
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