Have you had the transmission serviced? I was having slipping/slamming issues with my trans a month ago too.

Local Indy did the trans service (pan drop, filter, fluid, flush) for 420 bucks and my trans has been flawless ever since.

Also, most of the items you listed are normal wear items for a car with the mileage you have. So don't blame it on the X5.

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Current Bimmer
2004 X5 4.4i Sterling Grey Sport/Premium

Past Bimmers
1991 318I Alpine White
1995 740I Alpine White
1991 525I Schwartz
1998 323IS Scwartz
2004 330CI Cabrio Titanium Silver Metallic
1995 540I Schwartz
2000 Z4 3.0 Titanium Silver
2000 330ci Coupe Titanium Silver