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According to ETK the kit is valid for USA spec cars, so unless it's an error (quite possible) a "tried and true" method with instructions does exist. The "unwillingness to offer any sort of creative solution." is common with most Dealers lack of desire to take any risk.
BMW could sell a lot more parts if they made the retrofit instructions (EBA) public knowledge. I suggest asking your Dealer to print a copy of EBA 2146524 and EBA 2210830.
If this kit is truly not for the USA market you can try ECStuning. I've purchased Euro only parts there before.
If you want to drive to Charlotte I can add option 6FL to your X5 after you've added the parts and then enable the feature in your CIC headunit. That's about as close as you can get to factory USB/Audio which would still be supported in the future at the Dealership.
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