Random exterior lights on

[oldskewel]

Very weird light situation. Fixed but not understood. Posting this to see if someone has any clues or similar experiences.

Summary: crazy random exterior lights came on while parked. Controls + fuses had no effect. Instantly back to normal after momentarily disconnecting battery. Wondering what might be wrong.

2001 3.0i, 206k miles
Hardly gets driven, waiting in my driveway for me to have time to do engine work on it.
Charged the battery a couple of days ago, after finding it very low (reason unknown, not normal - could be related, I think). Charging went well, battery appears good, starts up with no problems. I thought it was good after that. Then ...

Today I noticed RANDOM exterior lights on: left fog light, right brake light, both taillights, right front parking light

My wife texted me a photo, and I did not get a chance to look into it until I got home 3 hours later, still in same state when I got there.

Car was still locked. Unlocked it with remote fob, no problem. Confirmed turn signal stalk was in off position. Headlight switch in off position. All light controls as they should be. Battery voltage (seen on power outlet gauge) about 12.0V.

Hooked up battery charger. It started taking a charge just fine. Charging overnight now.

Figured I'd pull fuses and then get to solving this when I have time.
Glovebox fusebox, fuse #9, 5A, brake lights. Pulled it and right brake light was still on. Key in, turned to ON, and all 3 brake lights on (with brake pedal not pressed, and fuse #9 pulled). Stepping on brake pedal does not change anything.

With key turned to ON, headlight switch still off, lowbeam headlights came on.

"Light Module", fuse #2 and 9 (9 was already pulled), 5A. Pulled it and nothing changed.

Checked fuse box in cargo bay, nothing related to lights.

====

So I went back to the battery and disconnected the negative terminal for a few seconds. Then reconnected it and the car is back to normal.

Any ideas? Is my car possessed? LCM on its way out? Weird voltage glitch due to recent low battery, not likely to repeat itself?