PLEASE HELP Nothing works after battery installation

[hova1222]

So my oem battery was dying and I replaced it with a duralast gold from autozone. My father has a shop and has a Schumacher/5 Ah battery memory saver machine that you plug into the car computer under the steering wheel so you wont lose your factory settings. he frequently uses it on many cars so you wont lose your basic functions like factory alarm and it works everytime.

anyways, we replaced the battery and had the battery memory saver machine plugged into the computer so when we completely removed the battery the truck computer would still have power.

We did NOT notice the machine was not charged and we removed the battery completely and replace it. The car runs and drives but nothing works. Alarm does not work, windows dont work, unlock button doesnt work, trunk does not close or open basically it just runs and drives. I know you dont need programming for the e53 as I did some research on the site.

How the hell do I get my functions to work? Windows, door locks trunks etc. Very frustrating

im thinking maybe disconnecting the battery completely but this time making sure the battery memory saver machine is powered on when removing and then plugging in the battery again.


PLEASE HELP ASAP THANKS

[TerminatorX5]

fuses

check fuses, especially in the glove compartment, the ones for the GM module...

[hova1222]

Originally Posted by TerminatorX5

fuses

check fuses, especially in the glove compartment, the ones for the GM module...

You think the fuse was blown because we completely removed the battery?

[TerminatorX5]

when you install a fresh battery, you might be touching the terminals several times before a permanent contact is established, even if you do it in one single swoosh... at that very moment the electric current rushes through the systems and may cause a surge in current, which in turn may blow fast reacting fuses... the fast reacting fuses are protecting more sensitive electronics, as obviously, it is easier and cheaper to replace a blown fuse than dig a module out...

start in the glove compartment, pull each one at a time, and do an ohmmeter check, not just simple visual, as it is known fact that visual can miss a bad fuse (been there, done that!!)...

if, after the fuse check you still have the same symptoms, then we move further in troubleshooting...

[rb0135]

I wouldn't be using any "battery memory machine" on a BMW, especially when removing a battery and reconnecting it. There is no need (in my experience, I had the battery disconnected for months once while overseas, and when reconnected it, everything was exactly how I left it. Working 100%.

As terminator X5 stated, check the fuses, but I would also be disconnecting the battery completely, wait an hour or so, touch the negative and positive leads together (off the battery) then reconnect it again. And, do all this WITHOUT a "battery memory machine" plugged in.

If the fuses are intact, you might have fried a module.

[hova1222]

Little update after further research i narrowed it down to 2 possible things.

1) how terminator previous mentioned it could be the gm3 module. several members in other forums had similar issues after replacing their batteries and send off their gm3 module to bmwgm5.com which i believe he is a member on the site as well. he fixes these modules and a lot of members have had positive feedback.

2) i also read after replacing the battery several members in other forums stated the computer goes into "Transport Mode/Shipping Mode". one member went to the dealer and they charged him half an hour labor another member just used a AUTOLOGIC OBD MACHINE and brought back all the functions.

i found a shop that stated they could fix it but they will charge me 116.00 which i think is pretty steep. he also said he wont charge me if he cannot fix it. i figured i might go with him and if that doesnt work ship my module out to Cali to bmwgm5 to fix. just upset i cannot drive my car because the windows are down and i cannot park it any where.

any one knows who has this AUTOLOGIC OBD MACHINE IN NYC?

[TerminatorX5]

from what i remember, the transport mode limits the RPMs of the engine, so the dock workers in a port do not do donuts on the piers while loading the cars on and off the boats...there are some other things the transport mode does, i just don't remember off the top of my head - is your engine power reduced?

So, it is safe to assume that you have checked all the fuses and they all checked out A-OK? it would be really upsetting to spend all those dollars just to come back to base one and find out all it was a $0.50 fuse...


Did you try to disconnect the battery completely, and then touch the (+) and (-) leads together (both leads MUST be disconnected from the battery!!!)? This procedure removes any residual/static electricity that may be stored in the capacitors and may reset a module that is otherwise "stuck" in la-la land...

removing a car from a transport mode should take about 5-10 mintues max - that is including connecting the computer to OBD, pushing the buttons and whatnot... $116 for that - rather steep... try to find member, triple-o, he does programming, maybe he can suggest something of a better value...

for $40 you can get yourself a suite of software and a cable and you can do your programming yourself - you just need a laptop running an XP Pro...

[srmmmm]

I changed my battery out in the AutoZone parking lot without any problems at all. In fact, I was surprised to see my radio station presets were still there! I agree with TerminatorX5 and would check fuses first.

2002 X5 3.0 241,000 miles
2004 325i 107,000 miles

[Rockit]

If it were me I would disconnect the battery tonight.....let it sit with no battery connected and reconnect it in the morning and see what happens. I'll bet everything will work.

If not, like other posters had mentioned start checking fuses under the glove box and the right kick panel of the rear cargo over the passenger rear wheel.

[JCL]

That is precisely what I would do. And to be clear, that means no battery saver machine.