Finally have the answer after six weeks at my indy shop (no more dealers for me). Two big parts were changed and it is better (for now).
First they found the sub-frame was bent (steel not aluminum). It was pushed up in the middle from a center impact (not our pothole experience). The bend pushed the sway-bar up almost an inch as it mounts onto the subframe. It is a bit hard to see in the angle of the photo, but it was bent. The shop first tried a junkyard one and it was bent too! Then my insurance OK'd new.
Second was a broken motor mount support. It is cast aluminum and bolts to the motor on the pass. side. One bold held and tore the ear off and the others sheared and dropped the pass. side of the motor down an inch or so. I may have misunderstood, but I think the shop said they were aluminum bolts that hold the support to the block?.?.? They are called out on the invoice as special order bolts, so maybe...
The mount itself wound up being a 'from Germany only' part that was months out and the shop had to do a bit of calling to finally locate a good used one in California and get it shipped.
So, our best guess is that there was a center impact before we bought the car and fractured the motor-mount support and like Crystalworks said, the pothole was the nail in the coffin and it let go.
Got it back Monday all aligned and ready to go.
Can't wait to see what breaks next...