Any Steven Wright fans out there?
 

Thought we could have a little fun sharing some of his one-liners...

A couple I like are "I bought some powdered water the other day, but I don't know what to add." and "I'm not afraid of heights, I'm afraid of widths."

I bought some used paint the other day, it came in the shape of a house.

Before I go to the dentist, I eat an entire box of Oreos, I like to get my money's worth.

I was a big fan of his back in the day.... is he still around doing stand up?

Another comic who has somewhat of the same feel as Wright is Mitch Hedberg. He is my favorite new comedian... Unfortunately he died last year - too early....

But he has a few great albums and he had a comedy central show - very funny. If you like Wright, I guarantee liking Mitch Hedberg.

If it's 90 degrees inside. Is it still "room temperature"? lol

Yes, I loved Mitch Hedberg also. VERY funny, and a lot like Steven Wright. So sad that he died SO young...

Juan

If you are in a car going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only child eventually.


I named my dog Stay. Come here Stay is very confusing to him.

Oh I like that one. Think think think.

I once had a job at a fire hydrant factory...it was cool, except there was no place to park.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

What's another word for thesaurus?

I used to be a bartender at the Betty Ford Clinic.

I wrote a song, but I can't read music.
Every time I hear a new song on the radio, I think "Hey, maybe I wrote that."