Is this normal?
 

Ok, so I don't go to chain restaurants that often, so I don't know if this happens a lot, but..... I was at Outback Steakhouse tonight and this couple (I'd say in their late 30's) and their 5 or so year old son were sitting in their booth diagonal from us. The wife had this blanket thing over her one shoulder and across her lap. She kept looking under it. This went on for about 10-15 minutes before I realized she had a newborn breastfeeding under the blanket! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RESTAURANT! Then she proceeded to switch breasts and put the blanket over the other shoulder. The baby couldn't have been more than 2 weeks old. I was totally grossed out!! DO PEOPLE DO THIS IN RESTAURANTS???????????

I was out for dinner with a group a few years back and a friend of a friend did it at the table. It was my first experience with it and I felt very uncomfortable. The opinions are extreme on both sides. There are those like us who don't feel it is appropriate in public, and then there are those that feel it is a natural and beautiful fact of life. The later are offended that we don't get it.

That was disgusting!!! Was she good looking though? :)

NO! I'd bet $1,000 she drives a mini-van, too.

Was it skim milk or vitamin D in them titties?:)

JV

It would not bother me, but I would look so maybe I could catch a glimpse when she changes breasts :thumbup:

Maybe we are too liberal in this part of the country. But I see it all the time, no big deal. Of course we get to see lots of other worse stuff too, so we get insensitive to it.

When women breast feed in public in SF, they don't even get a second look ;)

I don't know. At the dinner table of a restaurant is just beyond me. She had the baby sucking on her titty as she was eating her salad and carrying on conversations with her husband and son like nothing was going on. Just strange.

I think it's a matter of mutual respect. I can understand a woman's need to do that and not wanting to hide in some smelly washroom to do it but I can also understand that she should be considerate of others. There are some women who think it is her right to whip out her udder and let Junior start sucking like Romulus and Remus, everyone be damned. I think that is an inconsiderate attitude and I don't agree with that degree of openess and the expectation that everyone else conform their behavior and attitude to hers. However, if a woman is trying to be subtle and not being too overt about it then I would just turn away and let her do her thing.

It's like blowing your nose or sneezing. If you just let fly with the snot and honk like a goose then people will think it's gross. But if you try to be considerate about it and politely do your thing, then that's cool.

Aw what the heck, just show me the titties. :drool:

In CA, state law provides that a woman can breastfeed just about anywhere in public w/o restriction.

Wirelessly posted (Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows 98; PalmSource/hspr-H102; Blazer/4.0) 16;320x320)

Yes. Welcome to the 21st century. At least she was being discreet about it. Breast feeding is recommended by most MDs these days. However, I don't think they should take a 2 week old infant out...

Nice pull, Kev!:thumbup:
http://www.eso.org/outreach/press-re...es/romulus.jpg

Michelle, you shoulda told her to take that stuff OUT BACK!

Not that it would bother me but what about feeding the baby first, then going out for dinner? Anyone ever heard of planning ahead?

Well, OK. Maybe they were on a long road trip or travelled across town for dinner and the baby got hungry. It does sound like she was trying to be as considerate as possible to the surrounding diners by keeping things "under wraps".

Agree. Nothing gross about it IMO, it is what the equipment was designed for. Respecting others by using a blanket is very appropriate as well.

It only bothers me when I see children that are old enough to read taking part.

I think it is a great idea to breastfeed in public. I do it all the time :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Few years back, my best friend's beatiful wife pulled out her boobs and started feeding her baby right in front of me, no Mr. Blankies that time. I was really uncomfortable. At the same time, I was ashamed that I didn't look at them as mere milk bottle. Ironic!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

As some have mentioned, the fact that it took you quite a while to figure out what she was doing is the best indication that she was being quite discreet. I don't see a problem.

I don't care one way or another about the tittie thing, but Blowing your nose at the table is disgusting. Sneezing? well that hard to control but at least cover your mouth and nose. But blowing your nose? I don't know which one is worse farting at the table or blowing one's nose:tsk: :tsk: :mad:

DISCLAIMER: my response below sounds rude and almost like a personal attack. i do not MEAN it as such, so please don't take it that way: I am merely stating my reaction to having read this post.

With all due respect-

How can something so natural and beautiful a thing as a mother feeding her child be seen as something ... disgusting?!?! Is it not in fact the epitome of true Innocence?

It's one thing to feel "uncomfortable" in the sense that you feel it's maybe something that should be patently private, e.g., between mother and child only in the privacy of their own home.

But to feel that it's DISGUSTING?! That is a VERY different thing indeed.

Hm. All joking about breasts aside (geez guys), come on -- that's got to be one of nature's most preciously beautiful things, a mother feeding her baby -- with humans, cows, and just about every other mammal.

Either you're so conservative you live in a Catholic church, or you have become so desensitized by our modern world that you can no longer even recognize some of the inherent beauty provided by the natural world we call Life.

Moreover: as the age-old question continues to be asked, why are you (probably) ok with watching a bloody, violent movie or seeing a violent car accident on the side of the freeway? Why are you (probably) ok with television programs full of sexual innuendo and in some instances graphic detail or reference?

I'm not saying I don't enjoy great action films. I'm not saying I never watch porn or love my photos of Adriana Lima.

But I'm sure as hell not going to enjoy so much of those things that I cannot appreciate what is arguably the most innocent act between two living beings one will ever find on this planet.

Again, my apology if this came off as a personal attack: it was not meant as such, but merely my spontaneous reaction to this thread.

N.B. -- good point! Also, :iagree: i can't stand when people blow their nose at the table. Before you can retaliate with "but it's a thing of nature too!" -- come on. I think there's a very different thing indeed between the beauty of a mother feeding her child and someone blowing nasal mucous -- and hearing it! -- while people are trying to eat: it is not discreet; it is by definition an unclean act (nasal mucous traps bacteria and other impurities and it is the act of discharging that mucous that is being performed); it is loud and at times startling if unexpected; it is (usually) an auditory disruption; shall I go on? And same for sounds protruding from other bodily orifices while at the table. But BREASTFEEDING?!?!?!?! :rolleyes:

:iagree:

Yeah especially if it ends up on a hanky.

LOL...Its so obvious now that Ive been gone wayy too long. Breastfeeding is nothing here...Blanket or not.

I cant tell you how many times I walk out of a nightclub and there a beautiful girl peeing on the side of the street...In Korea, its in broad daylight...anytime, anywhere...BUT, it doesnt preclude me from feeling embarrased. Outback, huh? Wow...

Brilliant!:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I do see this quite often, but not usually in restaurants. This year alone, I've seen women nursing in a courtroom, in an airport, and in a park. But woman in question should be exercising some discretion as well. She certainly has a right to nurse her child in public, but she should select a corner booth facing away from traffic.

If she were instead sitting in the middle of the restaurant at a table and simply decided to whip out a boob for junior, it could be a serious distraction for the restaurant patrons. Especially if it is a size DDD boob.:wow:

:iagree: I know how hard it is to get tied down when they are little, so you got to cut people some slack. I don't think doing it in a high end restaurant is acceptable, but Outback is probably OK. Better she take care of business discreetly as opposed to letting the kid holler :bawling: while she stuffs her food down so she can go somewhere else. Now that would get under my skin!

Glad that stage of life is in the past.

Dennis

I don't see a problem. It took you that long to realize what she was doing so she was being descrete. A restaurant is where people eat. Baby was eating in the most natural way possible. What so disgusting? What's not normal?

I think, knowing Michelle as I do, that this is just one of those things that she's 'squeamish' about. Some people lose their appetite when they see things that gross them out, and what's beautiful and natural to MOST of us (Michelle, I think you are in the minority here, not that there's anything WRONG with that;) ), is like staring at roadkill to a few people.

JV

-- merely out of curiosity then ... how? why? I mean it's very easy to explain why seeing roadkill would make you lose your appetite. Or even talking about killing the beast you are eating. Or someone blowing their nose at the table, albeit to a lesser extent perhaps. But I *REALLY* fail to see how breastfeeding can cause someone to become squeamish? I don't mean this question in a condescending way ... Michelle perhaps you could explain the source of your discomfort?

I'm trying to analogize a woman's discomfort towards seeing another breastfeeding to something I, as a 26 your old guy might better understand.

The trouble is ... there *IS* no sound analogy I can think of -- it really is something truly unique in nature!

I will point this out though, although I doubt it has any significance: I have noticed that, in general, girls tend not to drink as much milk as guys do. Perhaps the distinction lies more in the fact that one is made uneasy by seeing something that is produced or in someway directly relates to their own person rather than that which comes from or is related to another person? You can apply that analogy to all bodily functions I suppose....

My point: perhaps more women than men would be "squeamish" at seeing someone breastfeeding while more men than women would be squeamish when seeing a guy get hit between the legs by a ball perhaps? I would say the latter is certainly true in general: you don't (generally) see girls flinch in a movie when a guy gets smashed in the junk, but nearly every guy certainly will.

Just a thought.

Also, I know for a fact my mother always pointed out a breastfeeding mother like it was the cutest thing she'd ever seen.

QUESTION: Michelle, obviously you don't have to answer this admittedly personal question but, out of curiosity, (a) how old are you and (b) were you breastfed and (c) if you have children, did/do you breastfeed them? I am going to venture a guess to "30s," "no," and "no."

Maybe squeamish is the wrong word JV. People can be uncomfortable with things they are not familar with or have not been exposed to. Damn, I'm uncomfortable on a topless beach. It's not that I've never seen breasts before, but in the US, we keep our tops on.I don't know where the hell to look with a woman in front of me with her boobs out. In other parts of the world it's normal to go topless. Having never been exposed to women breast feeding, I find it uncomfortable, by no means disgusting, just odd to see in public. I view it as a private thing.
Just my 2 cents.

sounds like she was disgusted to me. And disgusted it is a subset of squeamish: if you're disgusted, you're necessarily squeamish. For example, you can be squeamish without necessarily being "disgusted." But if you're "disgusted," you were and certainly are "squeamish." Hence to call her "squeamish" is quite accurate.

OK, so maybe I missed that statement. I still think it has to do with exposure, up bringing, culture. I'm sure you agree based upon your questions to Michelle regarding age, if she has children etc.

Bozo,
Where exactly did you see girls peeing on the street? Are they school girls? Grown Women? It would be interesting to know. Breastfeeding is about eating, but peeing is about you know.. the opposite, gross. What would be the realationship you are refering to.

I have shared an apartment with European girls during college, some of them metioned 'Backward Morality', ie those girls wanted to be topless while sunbathing in public swimming pool but was not allowed here. Perhpas that was what you were getting at?

I just remembered the scene from Jim Carrey Movie 'Me myself and Irene' where he played a bipolar cop Hank. At one scene beatiful mom was breastfeeding and next thing was Hank was sucking her tit instead of the infant she was nursing. Haha.

__________________

I'm 25, was not breastfed, and haven't decided if I will breastfeed when I have children. I didn't say "disgusting." I said gross. I think it was more about the infant being fresh out of the hospital than anything. I plan to follow the old school "newborns don't leave the house for six weeks" rule when I have children. It's something my fiance and I have discussed many times and feel the same way about. One of us can go out in that six week period, while the other is home with the baby. She wasn't that discreet about it; I just wasn't staring at her the entire 10-15 minutes before I noticed what she was doing. It would've been better if she moved to the far inside of the booth, or even switched sides with her husband so that she wasn't "front and center" for the entire restaurant to view. We don't dine with the general public that often, so I posted the thread just wondering if this is the norm. I don't watch bloody, violent movies, I can't stand them! (A good handful of members here know what type of movies I enjoy...and it ain't the type that someone living in a Catholic church would enjoy! ;) ) I guess it was more of an uncomfortable feeling...you can choose to watch a violent or disturbing movie...here, I didn't have a choice. I grew up on a farm, and still live on one. I've seen and assisted many cows and a few lambs giving birth. I've seen vets stick their arm up a cow's ass hundreds of times and watched them autopsy cows before, as well. This is stuff that would totally gross people out. I often joke with a nurse friend of mine about the difference between humans and cows...I'd much rather touch cow shit and piss than human waste...and she feels the exact opposite. I guess it's what you're used to...and this is definitely something I'm not. I really don't have a problem with women breastfeeding in public places, but I think the line should be drawn when it comes to restaurants.

LOL..Guess I have to check out 'Irene'! Sounds hilarious..You mean where di I see them HERE,or in Korea? Here, I see mostly drunk or semi drunk chicks doing it outside of bars or nightclubs..I know Ive been away for a little bit, and things might have changed, but I dont remember that kind of activity being rampant in the US...In Korea, I lived in a couple of small towns, (only for a year and a half)but I saw more than a couple of grown women doing it...In very rural areas, but more than a couple times..Not sure if it was the norm, and after all that Ive seen in life, it hardly offended me...And there was no intended relationship between the two circumstances, other than someone finding a certain situation stranger than normal....

Dont make me talk about Hanguk..Ill start crying..I miss it big time..Oops...offtopic..Sorry!

That is disgusting and you should draw attention to it. Get the manager over, tell him vocally it is grossing you out. I never understand why people with infants insist on "showing it off".

Great response, Michelle. I agree with all your points. Ask for a corner booth, face away from the other patrons, and don't make it a public spectacle.

I can't say I agree at all

breastfeeding is both a natural thing, and a moment of intimacy between the mother and the child.

as a parent, the REALITY of when a baby needs attending to is that you cannot plan everything. Often after a birth and the previous 9 or so months of every daily event revolving around the baby, a simple normal outing such as going out to dinner can be a treat, and a relief.

before my son was born my wife and I were determined that our social life would go on unchanged, we would still go out to cafes, see our friends as often etc. We were naive to say the least.

I learnt very quickly that people frown at you or even abuse you because your child needs a nappy changed and there is no where else other than the park seat where you have been strolling. You have already discounted the ground, you can't get to a change room so the best you can do is be discrete. Doesn't stop prudes from telling you what you should be doing.

We go out with major back up plans, and it still doesn't always work. Kids and babies have IMMEDIATE needs and as a parent you have to deal with them as they arise the best you can while retaining your own life as much as possible.

The other night my son had just been to the toilet before we went out as I asked and then you get to the video store where there is no toilet and lo and behold, they need to go again.

I also know that when you become a parent, your views and opinions change very quickly on what should or shouldn't happen. You also become far more sympathetic to other parents and help them wherever possible, as you can understand the difficulties and stresses involved.

I personally could not stand the sound of a crying child. Now it doesn't faze me as I can tell the differece between a need and a tantrum.

Breastfeeding is an act of both necessity and intimacy. As any act of intimacy is private, you should try to be discrete, which it apppears she did. I can't see what the problem is because you had to look repeatedly to work out what she was doing.

What does her economic status have to do with it? She is a parent, and one day you will be too. One day, somone will pass judgement on your actions that you deem necessary, whilst being as discrete as you can.

Hopefully someone won't go to the manager and vocally demand that you stop......

a mother's instinct is always right, she would put her child as first priority before anything else. i will not argue with that.

Again...I don't have anything against parents taking care of their children in public...I just got a little "squeamish" by this woman breastfeeding in the middle of a restaurant.
???? I didn't go to the manager and demand they stop her.

That is a reference to some of the other responses..............

I would just like to say that is is only appropriate if 1. the mother is a MILF 2. that there is enough for everyone at the table! Because as we all learned in kindergarten. You don't bring gum to school unless you have enough for everyone.

Ok, being a mom... I had to throw my two cents in here...

I have two kiddos - and both of them I breastfed for at least 8 wks. The first one I was EXTREMELY discreet with and most of the time would express the milk so that if I was out in public, and my little one got hungry I could give him a bottle. However, you practically have to plan your life around doing that. And sometimes the body doesn't agree with those plans, and you have to nurse or else you have a MAJOR mess in your shirt, that isn't exactly something you can cover up.

The second time around, I nursed more in "public" places, but always stayed covered up. Keep in mind, that as much as nursing moms try to keep it covered up... the baby still has to breath, therefore its hard to keep it totally covered up.

The thing about this is, if you aren't used to seeing it - it certainly can make a person a bit uncomfortable... as just with a car wreck, etc. once you catch a glimpse its hard to not look...

It is a totally natural thing, that while it does, shouldn't make a person uncomfortable... when all else fails, and you want to do so... ask yourself this... what is more disgusting... seeing a mom nurse her baby OR her having HUGE wet spots on her shirt.

Not to mention the pain that comes along with rock hard, milk filled breasts... when nature calls ya better answer. :)

I agree with the pro-breastfeeding responses wholeheartedly. If it's discreet (no flashing boobs), what's the big deal? Let's get over our being so uptight about it. This is a normal human action/function. My wife did this (for both our kids) when they were small and was very discreet about it. Let's lighten up, folks. These moms are trying to do what's best for there kids. If you know anything about breastfeeding, feeding occur fairly frequently as breast milk easy easily digestible by the baby and doesn't sit in gobs in their guts keeping them feeling full like formula does. If they didn't do it outside the house, she would not be able to leave.

How many times have I told you all to keep your digi cams with you at all times? One or two (or both) pics would have done this thread justice.

PS: Honestly speaking, if a mum gotta feed the baby, she gotta feed the baby

No she didn't, she put her wanting to go out ahead of everything and then told others to deal with it.

Having a new baby is highly stressful... she has every right to go out to dinner... :tsk: and seriously - a nursing baby is usually getting used to a routine of feeding. If you are out, and the moms body says, OK.. its time, she really has no choice other than to nurse her baby. She shouldn't have to go sit in her car or some other place to do something that is a natural act...

And as others have pointed out, she was trying to keep it covered up...

Who cares about the breast feeding discussion... the real question here is what the hell were you doing eating at an Outback? ugh...... :confused:

hahahaha

Michelle,

This probably happens more that you think that it does. This is probably the first time that you have really noticed it because you had the time to notice it. It is becoming more and more prevalant as more mothers are working and more companies offer daycares at work etc, etc. It seems like there are some strong opinions on both sides of the situation. Until someone has been there it is hard to really understand.

With our little on it was a long time before we went out with her, but you can't live your life cut off from the world until the little one is a perfect human being that isn't going to cause some disruptions wherever you go. My wife actually purchased a breat pump and mini fridge and would pump at work during the day, not only for her comfort but we tried to utilize as little formula as possible.

Again, it is all a going to be dependant upon each individual. We all have to do what is right for our well being and our childrens well being.

Should we get this and present it to Michelle in a couple weeks at the meet?

http://www.hvcn.org/info/lll/got_breastmilk_shirt.jpg

Hey ya know...just be discret and most people really do not have a problem with it.

Well this ought to top this off.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060506/...east_feeding_2

LOL, I read that story in the local paper a few days back and thought no, I didn't need to put the link in this thread. It might make some of our members uncomfortable.

At least all the participants weren't in a restaurant....

LOL Barry, good find!

No way could I resist it. Just too funny. Just think if all 4000 were in a restuarant. All that sucking sound at the same time. Pa-lezzzzz.