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Top 8 Morons Of 2006
TOP 8 MORONS OF 2006
1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to capture a gunman who barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up." 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts. 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the amount was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. 5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!". 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!" 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)! 8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat to go with speed. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there maybe able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped secuely in place, was the trailer! |
that's a summary of about the last 10 years of darwin awards....
still funny though. |
You can't make this stuff up. Good laugh for a Friday afternoon. :thumbup:
You surprised me Jay. After reading the title of the thread I thought Gresch posted it. |
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that was mid 90's i think ;) |
:lmao::lmao::lmao:
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Funny stuff, Jay! :thumbup:
I was sorta expecting pics of me and a few other knuckleheads from this board. :rofl: |
I loved the police line up one with the guy saying that's not what I said:rofl: !
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Supposedly one of the more famous (and earliest) Darwin awards.
The story is a guy bought an (empty) JATO bottle at a surplus store. Filled it up, attached it to his car (instant jet car, right?). He lights it off, and quickly proceeds to "fly" his car (at considerable MPH) into the face of a cliff a couple miles down the road. |
Rack it. :thumbup:
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This seems to be the top job opportunity these days. Get yourself hired under a contract with substantial severance benefits, play "Dee Dee-Dee", get yourself fired, and get RICH! Quote:
How true, how true... :rolleyes: Great post X5Jay! |
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Snopes JATO Page Enjoy! Mike |
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If you really love reading stories like this, I want to make a book(s) recommendation.
For years, I have been completely addicted to: "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader" http://www.bathroomreader.com/group.asp?grp=31 Topics like: Stupid Criminals, The luckiest people in the world, famous quotes, the history of: (things like cheerios, the buick, The hamburger) etc. It's really great reading for the throne room. Order some books, you won't be disappointed.. B "Since 1988, the Bathroom Readers' Institute has led the movement to stand up for those who sit down and read in the bathroom. The Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series is the longest-running, most popular series of its kind in the publishing industry. With more than seven million books sold and over 20,000 BRI members globally, you can definitely say we've started a movement." |
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