The secret to a happy marriage
 

A couple was celebrating their Golden Wedding Anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.
People would say, "What a peaceful & loving couple."

The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

The husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon, explained the man. We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona! , and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, "That's once."
We proceeded a little further and her horse stumbled again. Again my wife quietly said, "That's twice." We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I shouted at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you *%&#@$ crazy!?"
She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."
And from that moment...We have lived "happily ever after."

i thought the secret was "YES DEAR"

My wife and I live by the adage that "I know everything and she is always right"

works pretty well!

Nope, that wouldn't work for me (even though I know everything :D ). It needs to be "She is always right" (which is basically what DVS said).

SAw a comdedian on TV this weekend who said about marriage, " You can be right or you can be happy, you have to decide."

i thought you needed a pistol permit in NYC

:dunno: NYC??? Where did that come from Modcat?

That I live in NY so I therefore need a gun permit to threaten my husband.

Wait...I don't have one anymore so I don't need a gun.

Marriage is for quitters :nanana:

He did it to you 3 times huh?

And of course: The number 1 cause of divorce is "drum roll please" (no drummer boy smiley) is Marriage!

I guess you could say that :D

Happy marriage is such an elusive concept. Everyone has their own secret formula.

For example one guy I know, just celebrated his 25th Wedding Anniversary, and he said he's been happier than a pig in sh!t. We asked him how it lasted so long. He said he gets her phenomenal gifts. For their third anniversary, he took her to exotic, tropical,Tahiti !! We were impressed and asked what he did for the 25th Anniversary.

"I came back and got her."

But seriously though, even when a marriage last 50 years, the challenges NEVER end.

One 74-year old woman I know just celebrated her 50th wedding anniversary. But her husband's health has recently taken a turn for the worse. She told me that last week she stopped by the medical Lab to get the results from her husband's physical.

The Lab staff was very somber. They said that there has been a computer glitch, and her husband's blood result was mixed up with another patient with the same age and Last name. And to make matters worse, both results were bad. One test said the diagnosis is Alzheimer's, and the diagnosis for the other patient was AIDS. The old woman was furious. She said "I demand to have my husband re-tested so that I can care for him properly!" The Lab Staff informed her that Medicare will not pay for a re-test.

THe woman was despondent. "What am I supposed to do with my poor dear?" One of the Lab techs said that Medicare found the solution. "Drive your husband to the outskirts of town, and drop him off. If he finds his way back home, don't sleep with him."

:rofl: good one, L.