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#1
04-12-2007, 02:38 PM
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God, an atheist, and a bear....
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again & the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with it's left paw and raising its right paw to strike him...he yelled out, "OH MY GOD!" Time stopped... The bear froze... The forest was silent... Even the river stopped moving. As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around, GOD SPOKE: "YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? "AM I TO COUNT YOU NOW AS A BELIEVER?" Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?" "VERY WELL," said GOD. The light went out... The river ran... The sounds of the forest resumed... And the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive, Amen."
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You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist. 
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#2
04-12-2007, 02:39 PM
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Quote:
 
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  Current: 2016 X6 ///M Black Sapphire Metallic Last edited by cmyX6go; 04-12-2007 at 03:00 PM.
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#3
04-12-2007, 02:54 PM
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Never heard that one before...
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'08 335i Coupe - Barbera Red / Saddle Leather / Light Poplar Wood / 6spd Manual Options: Sport, Premium, Cold Weather, Comfort Access, Active Steering (awesome!), Power Rear Shade, IPod Adapter, Navigation w/IDrive Mods: M6 Wheels, Split Armrest, M-Steering Wheel, Euro Light Switch w/Rear Fog Lights, Short Shift Knob w/Matching E-Brake Handle, Clear Reflectors, CDV, Clear Bra Retired:'04 X5 4.4i
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#4
04-12-2007, 03:00 PM
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OMG. I'm crackin up. I remember that one. Thanks
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"What you hear in a great jazz band is the sound of democracy. “The jazz band works best when participation is shaped by intelligent communication.” Harmony happens whenever different parts get to form a whole by means of congruity, concord, symetry, consistency, conformity, correspondence, agreement, accord, unity, consonance……. 
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#6
04-13-2007, 06:58 AM
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__________________
/ / / Michelle Administrator, Moderator, and Premier Member My Bimmer Garage 2018 F15 X5 35i M Sport (Sept 2020 to present) 2012 E70 X5 35d (Aug 2015 to Sept 2020) 2008 E70 X5 3.0si (Aug 2011 to Aug 2015) 2001 E53 X5 4.4i (May 2005 to May 2012) Support Xoutpost.com & become a Premier Member | Join the BMW CCA Rest In Peace SuperGreg <3
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#7
04-13-2007, 07:26 AM
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I like that one. . . never heard it b4
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