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  #1  
Old 10-05-2007, 11:31 PM
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The Physical needs of a man ...

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough or
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them
all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets
get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.

Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.


You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....
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  #2  
Old 10-06-2007, 12:01 AM
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Old 10-06-2007, 12:10 AM
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Thanks China Man, we are always in need of a good joke around here!
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Old 10-06-2007, 12:22 AM
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Old 10-06-2007, 12:53 AM
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That's hilarious!
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  #6  
Old 10-06-2007, 02:02 AM
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Oh yeah, that takes the cake!
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  #7  
Old 10-06-2007, 09:04 AM
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Too good!!!
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Old 10-06-2007, 11:41 AM
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No response from the ladies?

Guess they agree
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Old 10-06-2007, 12:49 PM
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LOL
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Old 10-06-2007, 12:56 PM
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Good one! Now who is man enough to go try it today
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