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  #1  
Old 10-23-2007, 08:24 AM
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Check your horoscope.
http://www.theonion.com/content/horoscope/oct-23-2007
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An unwavering defender of those I see worth protecting.

"promote the general welfare, not provide the general welfare"

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
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  #2  
Old 10-23-2007, 09:00 AM
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My wife is cheating on me with someone I know
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  #3  
Old 10-23-2007, 11:29 AM
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I do Hate Cats...

An attempt at sexual innuendo goes awry this week when animal rights activists come out in full force to protest the dangerous, disgusting treatment of your pet cat.
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Old 10-23-2007, 12:27 PM
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Looks like I'm packing my bags for Pakistan!
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Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.
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  #5  
Old 10-23-2007, 02:32 PM
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I always found the Chinese horoscopes a bit more accurate for me. It shows; I'm supposed to have a pretty terrible year this year.

And I am.
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Old 10-23-2007, 02:34 PM
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You'll receive a giant burst of energy halfway through the week, thanks to lax safety regulations and an overheated nuclear reactor.
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  #7  
Old 10-23-2007, 05:18 PM
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Leo July 23 - August 22

A series of gruesome events will soon leave you sickened by not only by the sight, but also by the sound, the feel, and the taste of blood.

What?
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Old 10-23-2007, 07:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noncom23


Leo July 23 - August 22

A series of gruesome events will soon leave you sickened by not only by the sight, but also by the sound, the feel, and the taste of blood.

What?
I'd rather have my wife cheating on me
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  #9  
Old 10-25-2007, 08:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmyX5go
I'd rather have my wife cheating on me
I didn't know you were seeing anyone...
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