From your HR department, watch your language.

[Wagner]

Subject: Memo: Cursing at Work

Dear Employees:

> It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
> throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of
> normal conversation with their co-workers.

> Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended,
> this type of language will no longer be tolerated. Therefore, a list of
> 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that
> proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective
> manner.

> Number 1
> TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
> INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

> Number 2
> TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
> INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

> Number 3
> TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late .
> INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

> Number 4
> TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
> INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

> Number 5
> TRY SAYING: Really?
> INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

> Number 6
> TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
> INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

> Number 7
> TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
> INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

> Number 8
> TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
> INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

> Number 9
> TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
> INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

> Number 10
> TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
> INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
>
> Number 11
> TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
> INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

> Number 12
> TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
> INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

> Number 13
> TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
> INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

> Number 14
> TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
> INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

> Number 15
> TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
> INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

> Number 16
> TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
> INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

> Number 17
> TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
> INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

> Number 18
> TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
> INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources