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#1
09-25-2008, 02:02 AM
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LOL...Excerpts from a dog and a cats diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing! 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing! 6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath. Bummer. 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary... Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................ 
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#2
09-25-2008, 02:05 AM
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That's enjoyable.
__________________
"What you hear in a great jazz band is the sound of democracy. “The jazz band works best when participation is shaped by intelligent communication.” Harmony happens whenever different parts get to form a whole by means of congruity, concord, symetry, consistency, conformity, correspondence, agreement, accord, unity, consonance……. 
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#4
09-25-2008, 02:10 AM
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I can't believe it......
Whoo Hoooo j/k What ever you do stay away from SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080925/...lence_charge_7
__________________
"What you hear in a great jazz band is the sound of democracy. “The jazz band works best when participation is shaped by intelligent communication.” Harmony happens whenever different parts get to form a whole by means of congruity, concord, symetry, consistency, conformity, correspondence, agreement, accord, unity, consonance…….
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#5
09-25-2008, 02:19 AM
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Classic funny. Having a cat and a dog I can attest to the accuracy of those entries.
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#8
09-25-2008, 02:26 PM
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Quote:
Where I live, cats are a necessary part of the eco system. Owner adopts cat Owner allows cat freedom to roam the neighborhood Coyote spots cat Coyote alerts friends Cat runs from coyotes Cat screams are heard from throughout the canyon Owner places "MISSING CAT" sign all over neighborhood Owner gets new cat.. You know, CYCLE OF LIFE...
__________________
----------------------------------------------------------  "When two people agree on everything, one of them is not necessary" - Arliss
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#9
09-28-2008, 05:01 PM
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Quote:
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