United States – Circa 2050

[AzX5]

United States – Circa 2050
By: Wing Ding Ling
Disassociated Press, Washington

At the conclusion of this year’s Lantern Festival, Congress rushed back to Washington to hear the first nationwide address from Wuhn Hung Lo, the newly appointed Prime Minister of the United States. He succeeded President Joe Smith who agreed to step down in place of Prime Minister Wuhn in return for China’s 10 Trillion-Dollar purchase of the entire 2050 Wheat crop from Nebraska, Colorado and South Dakota. Wuhn’s ascendancy sets many precedents:

1. He’s the first person to assume the chief of state role in the United States by negotiation rather than election
2. The first leader of the US who is not an American citizen, let alone native born.
3. The first supreme leader of Asiatic heritage.
4. The first supreme leader who is unable to speak English (some claim the GW Bush was actually the first)

Speaking through the Deputy PM, Tuh Egg Rolz, Wuhn set out an ambitious agenda for the year ahead:

A. US new car sales to finally exceed China’s annual rate for the first time in 40 years.
B. Stricter border controls to staunch the flood of illegal American immigrants into China.
C. Guaranteed education through the 10th year for all Americans and Chinese living here.
D. Strict controls on pornography and other forms of filth infiltrating the American psyche via the Internet.
E. The establishment of a large network of Mandarin schools to attack America’s literacy problems.

Wuhn expects to propose these and other measures in a Bill to be sent to Congress within the next 10 days. Immediate passage seems certain.