President Bush May Send U.S. Marines to France

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President Bush May Send U.S. Marines to France
11/10/2005 - Shelby Trial


President Bush has authorized the Joint Chiefs of Staff to begin drawing up a plan to assist France in its current crisis. France has been racked with violence as rioters set fire to thousands of autos in the poorer low-income housing projects in neighborhoods around Paris and smaller cities.

President Bush stated: "The establishment of a special task force may be warranted and we will do all that is necessary to support this important ally in their time of need." Facing stiff resistance from Islamic extremists in Iraq, President Bush is in an uncomfortable position in terms of committing U.S. Troops to assist the French, but is determined to sacrifice assets.

French President Jacques Chirac welcomed support from President Bush and has expressed gratitude as his interests in gaining stabilization are becoming more intense. An apparent overwhelming force of 500 teenagers has apparently overwhelmed the local police and even the French Army. Mr. Bush doubts France's ability to hold off the little evil-doers. "Hell, if the last two World Wars are any indication, I would expect France to surrender any day now", said Bush.

Joint Chiefs head, General Peter Pace, USMC, warned the President that it might be necessary to send a force of 5 to 10 Marines to get things under control. The General admitted that force may be overkill but he wanted to get this thing under control within 24 hours of arriving on scene. He stated he was having a hard time finding even one Marine to help those ungrateful bastards out for a third time but thought he might be able to find some opportunistic USMC cooks that could perhaps gain some epicurean knowledge in a "Fight for Epicurean knowledge exchange."

President Chirac asked President Bush to get our Marines out of there as soon as possible after order was restored. He also reminded Gen. Pace to make sure the Marines did not take offensive items such as soap, razors, or deodorant with them.