Divorce.....
 

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem." I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are the World".

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P. S. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &Jane Fonda with you.

P. S. S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call

Sounds very much like a divisive, separatist, anarchist, xenophobe to me. I thought
Lincoln took care of that in the 1860's. Dr. Martin Luther King might
not agree either. However Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, and Mao may very well
think this is a great idea. Perhaps Lincoln and King needed a
perspective adjustment.

Your divorce is granted…..you leave, but the country stays! Don't let the door hit you where the good "Judeo-Christian" Lord split you.:rofl:

If you were smart, you would "refudiate" these comments.

Wagner; Are you going to post the answer to the letter?

Ah yes, 2008. Remember it well. Read it then.

This was one of the other views, on the same theme, from the same time period (October 2008):

Which one? There were many.

Here is a current one. His several blog entries narrow down the original author's self-proclaimed group to being very small.

An Open Letter to John J. Wall, Concerning Our Divorce Settlement | the daily mull

Too liberal? There are some great Libertarian responses out there.

Eh, unfortunately we need both sides to balance out. You can't have only deer and other grazers, can't have only lions and other predators... gotta have both for the natural balance.

Same concept. But in nature the deer don't force the lions to eat grass and the lions don't force the deer to eat meat.

Exactly my point.

Would they wish having CA now?
One of the most economically stable states, if I'm not mistaken. And he also wants to part with Alabama (Mercedes) and I assume S.Carolina (BMW), while keeping Michigan (Big 3)?

Sounds like a good deal for the South.

Liberals to the west coast, conservative take the east. Mississippi river is the new Mason-Dixon line. Wait, the northeast is liberal but the southeast is very conservative. OK, split the country into FOUR new countries! North America, South America, Northwest America and Southwes....wait. Southern California is liberal, but Northern California is cons. Ah, F*** it. Just make Mexico the 51'st state.

Excellent Idea. I can just imagine the ensuing civil war promoted by the ideologues
looking to promote their general welfare. :yikes:

I almost like that...expect Israel should have been there as well ;)

We talked about that in World Politics today. Sometimes I wonder if the United States will still exist in its present form in 10 years, let alone when I die.

Sort of along the lines of the topic, from a book written back in '81:

The Nine Nations of North America

Nine Nations of North America - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

it was awesome to see the responses blow up to a spam email....nice work fellaz :)

Sometimes I think if we did just make Mexico the 51st state, we would be better off. At least then we would also get the upside of Mexico instead of just inheriting its poverty problem. Think about it. Once we flush out the corruption down there, we would get another worldwide tourist destination, vast reserves of oil, repatriated manufacturing facilities, tropical farmland, and a MUCH shorter southern border that we could build a mile high fence on while landmining the whole area.

Aw yes Mao, your left wing hero, don't deny it, cat is out of the bag. You admire him. Anita Dunn ;)

I am in. We could take the worse piece of land and still come out on top. Because really its about principles, hard work, common sense.

Here I was having a very nice Sunday afternoon, and you had to go and remind me of that idiot Glenn Beck. Sheesh. :rofl:

Beck, Special Report cropped Dunn quote to falsely claim she said Mao was "the man she turns to most" | Media Matters for America

I can honestly say that I have seen about 10 minutes or less of this guy on TV in my entire life and that was too much. Major drama queen among other things. I don't get how people can seriously watch him.

I'm off to Colorado in search of Galt's Gulch.

When you find it, check out something for me. I'm betting they wouldn't let Glenn Beck in.

:iagree: