3.0d 22" wheels
 

can anyone advise me what size wheels and offset/j etc I need for the correct upgrade from 19" wheels on my wifes 2003 pre facelift 3.0d sport?

We'd recommend either a 285/35-22 or a 295/30-22. Most of our 22's average around ET40 or lower. Check on our website for some guaranteed fitments.

Well it really depends on what wheels size you want! You can get 22x10's all around or 22x9.5's. 22x10.5 should a little too wide for the front but you could go with the staggered look.
As far as the offset go to http://www.e90post.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12 it has a nice calculator.