This one hit's nearly all the marks...
 

First time poster, long time lurker.

Purchased a 2003 X5 4.4, 130K for 2.5K. This far I've identified:

Engine bleeds oil like an automotive stigmata.
Not only that, the cabin blower fan has more personalities than Sybll.
Hard down shift when coasting. Fortunately, it only happens when I'm driving.
Hatch rattles.
Coolant reservoir leaks like crazy.
Windows all work(ed their way inside the doors)

Am I missing anything???

On the plus side...

Former owner's 3 pack a day habit provides a musky manly smell.
No Vanos rattle. Engine runs like a top!

Amateur wrencher who like's the challenge of older cars. (I also own a 360K e34 540i)

Much appreciate all the info on this board. Onward and upward!!!

http://www.thecrawfords.org/blog/con...oad/x5_0_o.jpg

That's quite a project you have purchased there... That said it looks like you are in for a few DIY, this forum is an excellent resource for that, good luck.

Yup, sounds about right!

Having a 540i, you should get that sorted in no time. :)

Welcome to the board and good luck with your project!

I'm sure you got it on the cheap. And it looks nice so after you exorcise the demons in that little e53, you'll have a nice little SUV for pennies on the (original) dollar.

PS, I enjoyed your literary flare in the OP. :thumbup: Sometimes you have to have a sense of humor when taking stock of the current condition of the most recent acquisition of German engineering. Especially if it came from a neglectful home.

I agree. This statement pretty much describes me too:

"Amateur wrencher who like's the challenge of older cars"

I like to describe it as "funreliable" to my wife, when I tell her I have to spend another weekend in the garage with the kraut car again.