1. There's nothing "BMW specific" in the GM 5L40 which would prevent a quality transmission rebuild shop from rebuilding the transmission. These are GM transmissions, and quality parts are available from many sources.
2. I'm not sure why you lost faith in the original shop. Are they an ATRA or ATSG member shop?
I lost faith because they told me initially before taking the transmission out that there was nothing wrong with the torque converter. Then when they got the thing out and inspected it, they told me the torque converter has grenaded itself and ruined the transmission. This is the shop: MIRAMAR TRANSMISSION - Miramar Transmission & Auto Repair
Used transmissions are a crapshoot. There is really no way to know what you're getting.
So you paid a shop to remove, dismantle and inspect, but lost faith in them. I assume you paid them for their work?
Yes, I paid everyone for their work. I'm not sure why it matters who paid for what, but I don't mind answering
Then you bought a reman from a place online, and paid someone to install. That didn't work. Did you pay for the second R&R?
Street Smart paid for the installation of the second reman transmission
Then you bought a used unit, wasn't good, Paid again for R&R. Then there was another R&R for second used transmission - not sure who paid for that.
In all of this, you never replaced the converter? Or you replaced it with the remain, but returned the remain and used a used converter with the used transmission? Didn't the reman come with a remain converter?
The reman transmissions both came with a remanufactured converter. I never thought, nor was I advised, to combine a reman converter with the used transmissions. Probably would have been a good idea.
Now you're going to R&R again to do a converter or a BMW reman?
Correct
Do you have the original transmission?
No, the original transmission was shipped back to Street Smart as part of the core exchange.
Are all the mounts good? Has anyone checked the mounts/transfer case/diffs? Are there any codes in DME/EGS/4WD/ABS modules? Any dash warnings?
There are no codes at all. The transmission mount was changed with the transmission. The transfer case was changed 45,000 miles ago. Can the diff cause these symptoms?
You need to go to a qualified shop that can diagnose what the problem is, not just buy more parts.
Problem is finding a qualified shop. One I went to had stellar reviews and either lied to me about the torque converter being good or didn't know what they were talking about