When I worked in an independent shop, we would install the customer's own parts, but we strongly discouraged it. It was just more trouble than it was worth. Any problems afterwards, and the customer wanted warranty. We would write 'customer parts, labour warranty only' on the work order and sometimes the customer would be upset, and ask why we wouldn't stand behind his parts. When you got the vehicle apart and found that the parts didn't fit (not an uncommon occurence), and you had to either put it back together or tie up a bay, we either charged for the trouble or just ate it and swore we would never do it again.
For parts, we charged the same price the dealer did, and just made the margin our discount allowed, for OEM parts. We would also offer non-OEM alternatives, it was the customer's choice. We made recommendations if asked. I installed a lot of Repco-PBR pads (now called Axxis in the US) If the customer wanted, we would save the old parts and give them to him in the OEM boxes. We always saved them in case they asked to see them. Frankly, if he was doing it because he didn't trust us we got a little ticked off, as we were booked weeks in advance and just didn't need the hassle, we had plenty of regular customers and turned away work most weeks.
There was no freight charge that went to the customer, unless we were bringing in specialty parts from outside the country, as we had parts delivered every day on a scheduled run (for which we ate the freight ourselves, as a business overhead) and also had the dealer deliver at no charge.
The experiences I have recounted here may not be entirely typical. There are lots of shops that don't work as we did. At the same time, there are many that do. What you need is a shop you can trust. If you don't know one, ask around and get some recommendations. Trust is more important than BMW experience. If we worked on a specialty car and didn't know something unique to that vehicle, it was our problem and not the customer's. There is nothing about X5 brakes that would have stopped us from doing the job and standing behind it. I occasionally need to find a shop these days as it is a long drive back to the shop I worked at, and I don't have full facilities at home. I go into a local shop and talk to the manager, asking questions, and see what kinds of answers I get. I can usually get a sense of whether it is the type of place that I want to give my business to.
Hope this helps.
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