You might be an X5 driver if.........
 

Anyone got some good ones? Let's hear them!

If your Indy's shop gets new machines and a make over every time you have a service.

If you have a kill list that has vehicles on one side and parts broken on the other.

If you were quoted more for an oil change than the price of a Michelin MXV4 19 inch tire.

If you have broken windows regulators.....
If you have sex more then two times a week.....

you might be an X5 driver if people follow you for miles just to look at your whip....then you might be an x5 driver.

" " if you can take an exit ramp doing 50 while your on your cell phone

You might be a X5 driver..... If you look for people, noticing you.

if you strike confusion to the face of domestic suv/truck drivers because they didn't know a "fancy-boy suv" could outperform theirs with a trailer and/or offroad.

You might be an X5 driver if you are hesitant to start and drive the X5 in freezing temperatures.

You might be an X5 driver if you embrace/enjoy having to take extended winter drives to burn off excess engine condensation.

You might be an X5 driver and member of Xoutpost.com if you think/do know more about your X5 than the mechanic you brought it to. And you cant wait to "tell" them what the problem is and how to fix it.

You might be an X5 driver if you get an expense report every year from your accountant detailing the year's losses and how a bailout may be in order.

You might be an X5 driver if you try and Ghostride da Whip and the second you get out, "Self Level Susp Inact", ABS, DSC, Brake, and "Check brake linings" messages show up.

You might be an X5 Driver if objects in your sideview and rearview appear to get farther, and you grin!

You might be an X5 driver if you don't roll down your windows in fear of broken regulators.

You might be an X5 driver if you contemplate whether to do the infamous tranny fluid change to see if your tranny lasts longer.

You might be an X5 driver if you wonder whether to replace your water pump at 60k or to ride it out.

You might be an X5 driver if you fear rainy days in case your vapor barriers or drains leak into the truck.

LOL so true!! I've done that more then once.

...If you lurk on this forum every single day for almost a year, but don't own one YET!

...If you get distracted during every conversation when you see an X5, even though you are an excellent multi-tasker.

...If you've heard all the horror stories about X5's but still want buy one.

You might be an X5 driver if you can't even remotely relate to someone who complains that their tires wore out in "only" 30,000 miles.

...if you take a freeway clover-leaf 20mph faster than that poser in his Japanese "sports coupe," and exits the turn at 75mph and continue to accelerate on the straight...with a sh!t eating grin on your face.

You might be an X5 driver if....

1) You never let the 2 kids strapped in the back seat prevent you from "red-lining" your highway entries.

2) You lie to your kid and tell him Daddy's car is just as fast as that Cayenne Turbo in the center lane;)

3) You flat-out refuse to let Jeep Grand Cherokees and Ford Explorers pass you...Ever...For any reason...

4) Range Rovers get a pass...but only if they signal first.

5) Nah, f&*k the Range Rovers, you won't let them pass either.

6) You blurt out to your boss that you will send him/her the report after you finish your post at X-Outpost.

7) Your boss asks you "what is X-Outpost".

8) You reply that it's sort of like porn....car porn...

.....if your engine compartment looks like the Exxon Valdez is docked there!

[QUOTE=StanF18;811806]You might be an X5 driver if....


3) You flat-out refuse to let Jeep Grand Cherokees and Ford Explorers pass you...Ever...For any reason...


QUOTE]

^^^2nd best one yet! ^^^

You might be an X5 driver and member of Xoutpost.com if you think/do know more about your X5 than the mechanic you brought it to. And you cant wait to "tell" them what the problem is and how to fix it.

^^^best one yet!!!^^^ (thats me writen all over it!)

Best one lol

If you constantly thinking about much gas its wasting when your not driving.



Sent from my Nexus S using Tapatalk

- You come out of Best Buy or the mall and there are people posing for a quick picture in front of your car.

- You drive the X 40 miles to work rather than the much more gas efficient Honda in the driveway.

- You tell your significant other she needs a BMW and her car sucks even though it's two years newer than the X. You're actually successful in the brain manipulation because the X IS just that bad ass!

- You have a mod bug, but not to change the appearance far from the already sexy stock look.

- Your wife offers to take over your payments so you can get an M3 which she 'knows' "is more your style"

- You make a list of the most common problems seen (based on what you've read on Xoutpost) and try to prepare yourself mentally and financially beforehand.

If you try to make friends with all other X5 owners that u run into.

Or..

If XOutpost gets you through ivy league classes. (hence I'm in stats class right now, tapatalk is the best )

Haha, that reminds me, the other day I saw another Imola Red, we saw each other and smiled with that X5 owners pride :thumbup:, then shared a short drive down the highway. My wife looks at me and says, "What the f&*k are your cheesing for, do you guys know each other?" She's quite a lady. LOL

... You might be an X5 driver if when you fix one thing 5 others chain react and go bad.
... You might be an X5 driver if your automatically signed in to Xoutpost, ALL the time, in every computer and phone you own!
... You might be an X5 driver if 'Trans Fail Safe' simply means: "Turn it off and wait about 2 minutes then drive off"

You...

-If most of your geezer buds, some of whom have zip interest in cars, think your 10 year old E53 is nearly new, and is the best looking 'suv' they have ever seen. :thumbup:
-If you are addicted to this site. ;)
GL, mD

^ New #1 ! ^

This happend to me! When I got mine... the rumor mill at work was at full out-put capacity! Everyone thought I got a huge promotion! People thought it was new, or a left over!:thumbup:

That made any repairs in the future completely worth it! The gen public think my X5 looks like a $75K ride! I couldnt possibly ask for more then that!

this is fun)))
If you think about what to fix/change next, even though your X has no lights
If you pass slowly when people smile at you from car/street and are sure that you can dissapear
If you pedal it every time ML is in front of you)

You might be an X5 drive if you enjoy pulling up to a light next to a rice burner, 4 banger, or trash can muffler fitter and letting them take you til you slip it in M/S mode and smoke him in 3RD!!!!!

You might be an X5 driver if you can't read your mileage or warning messages b/c your pixels are shot.

You might be an X5 driver if you spend hours in the garage, placing the cluster into test mode and watching that pretty test mode go through the motions.

You might be an X5 owner if you know how to update/mod the firmware of your Nav without dealership assistance.

You might be an X5 driver if on speed dial

#1 is your lady
#2 is your indy
#3 is bavauto

You might be an X5 driver... if you had a driver in a new G37x coupe pull up beside you at the light after you (3rd gear) smoked him (when you're one car behind already) and tells you... DAMN, that thing is fasssttt, I looked at him and said "you should be faster, mines a SAV" :)

You might be an X5 driver if you how to mods the sh1t out of her

huh ?

if... your local indy shop now has not one, but _two_ BMW certified E53/E70 technicians on staff.... and another on-call

You might be an X5 driver if the thought of driving an Japanese made SUV makes you break out into a cold sweat...

You might be an X5 driver if :

- You thank god and quietly scream "YES!!!!" each time you start the car and all of the warning lights disappear as they should.

- You upgraded your AAA plan from Basic to GOLD.

- You don't use the panoramic moon-roof in fear of breaking it.

- You love driving it regardless of all of the above.

^ LMFAO @ #1

if....you spend more time contemplating mods and maintenance or your vehicle than your house-or anything else for that matter.

If you can't drive your 9 year old, 122k X5 to a client meeting because you keep it immaculate; They will have the preception that it is new and that you make too much money...

You might be an X5 driver if you think those big fat cambered tires on back are posers, then you drive one and find out they stick like sh*t !

Holy crap this is funny ! I found out 3 months after my 06 4.8iS with 55k on it rolled into the parking lot that my boss had been asked on several occasions how much I earned as " he bought that brand new big BMW" .

David

That is so awesome! You know.... In today's world,
a best case scenario will give you exactly what you paid for. Nothing more.

But my $17k BMW gives me the image that I have a $70k ride. I'll can't think of anything else that will give you more then what you paid for.

You enjoy driving off track as much as on track.

... you've been reading every single new posts in this forum, every single day, for more than 4 months, while you wait for your first X5 to be delivered.

you might be a X5 driver if you do like justin - drive over 120mph and forget-- its a suv and not a sport car :)

...if anytime you drive another car, you notice how loose/smooth the steering wheel is and how you can actually make a turn with one hand.

...if your first fix was the infamous rattle in the trunk.

...if you check the fluid levels more often than you kiss your wife.

...if you hate the dealership.

You Might be an X5 driver if u see someone tap on u'r glass and request you to rev that engine one more time.
(happened to me, in the underground parking lot, 4.8 sounds awesome, specially in confined spaces)

You might be an X5 driver if everyday you open your hood and walk around your X5 to see what part you want to replace to keep it as nice as the first day you got it.

You might be an X5 drive if,
you like wielding the wrench yourself

you know stuff is going to break but you don't care

it's still the best car you've ever owned

you take the long way to and from work because it has way more curves and high speed corners

finally, after 8 years it still gets your blood pumping

Man, I feel my X5 steering wheel is so hard it needs 2 people + 1 kid to turn it while on low speeds.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::r ofl::rofl::rofl:

If you let other Xs pass even on redlights and stop on green just for the sake of an X driver.

You hold your breath every time you open a door, and exhale when it opens.

God I love this truck!!!

You hold your breath every time you open a door, and exhale when it opens.

God I love this truck!!!

You might be an X5 driver if you just broke a window regulator and already have the parts to fix it waiting in a bin that you pre-purchased and already have the DIY thread from Xoutpost on the bookmarks of your computer.

You might be an X5 driver if your water pump just went out, but you remember the guy who's CCV just caused a grenade so you don't mind about the water pump.

...........your wife wants to get divorced because you spend more time with the X than her!
...........your SES light goes on the average of once a month...lol...
...........you cannot stop modding, even when all the mods that you could do are done.
...........you get together once or twice a year with really great people form xoutpost to drink patrone silver and look at each others mods!!! LOL!! Justin!!

You trade in a 09 toureg for a 01 X5 because it's ALOT more FUN!

If you open you door in a below 31F storm and the locks freeze in closed position (door wont close)

You know you're an X5 driver if...

- You take pictures of others X5's being towed in NYC because the traffic cops are a$$holes and don't care about how they treat the vehicles.

If you search high and low for other "nicer" cars in the parking lot to park beside. Hopeing thay care about their doors and won't whip them open and smack my X with them !

OFF topic... they just f*&%$d this one up :gun:

Only if it is an x-drive. My eyes aren't good enough to tell. That is a BMW-approved towing method for models up through 2003.

It was a pre-facelift model but NYC traffic popo don't care about X-Drive or Non-Xdrive, they just lift and go.

...Your tailgate makes more noise than the wife.

a 4wheel drive or all wheel drive vehicle has to be handled differently, the point is :stickpokeNYC traffic A$$es will (F) your nice expensive vehicle up any chance they get. my friends X got towed like that 2001 4.4 when he got it back all kind of sqeeling and groaning sounds comming from the front suspension.

It is often misquoted here that you can't tow an X5 with wheel lift equipment. That is just wrong, you can do so. Previous experience operating a tow truck tells me that I would not hesitate to tow my own X5 (pre x-drive) with one axle raised, within the guidelines published by the manufacturer.

Sure, tow truck drivers can screw up vehicles. But simply towing an AWD vehicle doesn't necessarily damage it, towing it incorrectly damages it.

No comment on the personal qualities of NYC employees, as I don't live there.

well JCL if you did you would agree totally with CisCo.

Yes, possibly.

It is just that when I look at a car being towed (particularly if it is being towed carelessly, or being dragged down the street) I don`t think much about the city employees not caring. I tend to think more about the owner not caring about his vehicle, and putting it in a situation where this was likely to happen. I guess if you do live in NY, and this is a well known result, then it is pretty much down to the X5 driver as to whether you give them reason to tow you.

Rain
 

You drive faster than everyone in the rain. My x doesn't flinch going 75 in a storm. With white knuckles and caution of course;)

:bustingup

........if you've driven around for a week removing pieces of the rear interior a section at a time until nothing is left to try and find that F%^ing "knock, knock" sound.

.......if after getting it down to bare metal you STILL have the effin sound and are filling up a small gas container and stopping off for matches.

........if you drove with that noise for 5 years before someone suggested you should tighten your latches and you think back to the time you stripped the entire truck rear and never found the noise.

http://i653.photobucket.com/albums/u...y-on-topic.jpg

Off Topic
 

Fair comment. But 1stE53 started it! :rofl:

....if you don't care the weather forecast calls for rain the next day.....you still wash it to a spankin shine.
....you just put those 315 tires last summer, and already know which you will buy next if you need to.
...for those in the city, park your car and hope when you come back no one has scratch it or bump into it while parking.

you must be a X5 driver if parking 9 feet from a fire hydrant gives those a$$ the rights or reason to F your X5 up. --- thanks JCL for the enlightenment. :rolleyes: now back to the topic -- you must be a X5 driver if you cant think of a better SAV to buy-- if you decide to sell you X:D

[QUOTE=E53BX;813994]....if you don't care the weather forecast calls for rain the next day.....you still wash it to a spankin shine.

:iagree:Did that just last week :D

JCL-Funny as hell, sorry for the off topic comment

.... If for months/years you keep adding water and coolant to your car and when your friend asks "why are you always doing that?" you say "it's just a leaky valley pan gasket, no big deal".

.... Your tires are bald

.... You've been commuting your Hybrid all week and Friday night you get in your X, step on the pedal and accidentally jerk everyone in the car.

If you know it will rotate, before it will flip.

love this one!

You purchase and install the OEM class III hitch and any number of other accessories for the E53 not because you need them, but because they could soon EOL and you just *might* want them one day. :doh:

If Green Peace is protesting in front of your house because of the oil slick flowing from your drive way created by your X5.

... if you come home from work and every 5 minutes look out the window admiring how gorgeous the ride is parked outside the home...

... you pay more attention to the X's noise, feel and ride than how your wife feels and kids...

... you can't wait to get back in your X right after a trip or back from work... granted gas prices are off the roof, that will not stop you from launching a throttle attack on Sport mode :)

so true

...you have no problem dropping $60K for a new SAV, but do the hitch install yourself because the dealer is way overpriced.

Ha! That's both funny and true!

so thats why my radio probably isn't working...again..or the reason as to why the tools i left out back there are all rusty

i question exactly how powerful your v8 is.im running the 3.0i.considering our cars weigh 6k lbs at the least and how sexy the engine sounds when u hit 3,000rpms racing is something i would never do in the X.espically against a G37 coupe

its ashame how much this applies to my life lmfao

...If you refer to your X5 as AN X just because its too good to be called A X

...if you stare down other more reliable luxury cars that you could buy constantly but still keep your X just because its an X.

...if all your friends expect you to pay when you all go out just because you drive an X

....if you say fuck the dealer,Hopefully xoutpost has the answer

- If on a hot day, you think "i'll roll down the windows a bit" and then realize you made a bad move, you try to stop the window, but it's too late... a regulator just broke.

(my day)

- If you think that your being a low rider, but realize an airbag is leaking.

If you take a casual look in a shop window to see how you both look
If you become desensitised to those less fortunate in sushi mobiles
If you have to go via the garage for no particular reason than just a look
If you like the look on you X wife's face when you pick up your daughter

LOL! I love that kind of financial logic, it's like driving so far out of the way to save a couple of cents on gas that you've probably burned up the savings looking for a cheaper station. BUT, saving that money over dealership costs means more money for mods and parts...