When was your first "OH $!*^" moment with your X5?
 

I wanted to start this thread because of that post about which X5 is better and there was an eery consensus of "Fixing" something on out X's I wanted to get a thread going and read others stories about their X. It can either be the first time they were gonna DIY something on their X; whether it ended good or bad. Or if you go yourself half way into a job and all of a sudden you have a brain fart and cant remember where anything goes anymore. Or maybe when your hummin along and then you see a dashboard full of lights, or a clunk, or maybe pieces of your motor flying out. Or shortfalls you have seen with your X that you wouldn't have otherwise anticipated.

Hopefully this thread will be funny and helpful at the same time to remind people about procedures and how they should be followed.

I'll go first.

My first moment was when I first got the 4.4. I thought it was great, I mean hell it was a Bimmer. Anyways I drove it everywhere and thought it was the best thing ever. I am a person that enjoys the snow so I was excited for the first snowfall. I mean AWD, in a SUV, this thing will be a tank, right? First snowfall was about 3" and I was excited. At the time I just had the ugly style 58's wrapped with the Michy Energy tires that were NEW... Drive out of my development to the first stop sign... Completely just trucked through the stop! All 4 brakes locked up doing 10 MPH and I was up another persons driveway. It was a miserable day after that. It was so bad that I had to turn the hazard lights on I was going so slow and at the time I was in high school, 30 minutes late and I only lived 8 minutes from the school. Needless to say I discovered Snow tires real quick. Now it's unstoppable.

My second moment was when I did the VPG... Seeing half of your motor on the garage floor and seeing all that space in the bay was a bit intimidating. That and it was so oily and greasy under there that all my nice labeling with tape and everything... yeah wasn't legible at the end. Thank god I was born with common sense though. After putting it all back together, only to be too excited to see if the car would start... And forgetting to put the battery cables back on. When the X did nothing... you know that feeling in the pit of your stomach that you get when you can just envision the amount of money you will have to hand to someone else to fix your F&*^ up? Then my common sense came back and reconnect the battery and all was fine. :rofl:

I'd have to go with when I was doing my system. The truck was nothing but a shell inside. I remember looking at it with nothing but a center console in the garage thinking "I seriously hope I can put this back together".

:rofl: Sounds like it might have been a head scratcher. Then after you put it all back... Hmmm... These nuts an bolts must have been spares... Ehhhh F&*$ it." lol

Lol! Actually I did have a few left over, but it was from parts I had discarded in and around the amp area! :nanana:

At the time, I was so focused on getting the system in and X back together that I wasn't really paying any attention to the mounds of panels parts and Trim pieces piling up. Kinda looked like a bomb went off and puked out X5 parts all over.

Owning the X has been pretty much good times all around in my case. It's been an awesome journey/learning experience for me. Hopefully others will find it also!

When I topped off the coolant and there was a puddle on the floor. :P

Closest for me was installing the front axle. Damn thing was a pita in both directions to get done.

My first terrible moment was casually driving on the highway doing around 70 then all of a sudden i hear "POP" :wow:WTF was that then all the smoke came so i pulled over open the hood smoke every where at this point im shiting in my pants everything running through my head omg i blew my engine im broke this is going to be expensive. so i waited til the smoke started to go away so im looking dont find anything different.. at this point i saw that theres antifreeze everywhere after the smoke went away so i look i blew the expansion tank..overall it wasnt bad at all it was scary as it being the first time this happen..

When I was doing my right front wheel bearing, I was all done after a serious week of working on it slowly, and was drawing in the axle with a homemade "puller tool", which was an impact socket with an axle nut welded on the end, and the edges ground down so the threads could go inward, thread on the axle stub and pull it in to the hub as I turned the socket.

Well, the welding job wasn't too great and I was hitting the gym hard that week, so I torqued the hell out of the socket just a bit too much, and low and behold, the nut snapped off the socket, completely flush with the inside of the hub and the axle stub. Took about 3 hours of grinding notches in the broken axle nut, and trying to force it counterclockwise using a chisel to get it free again.

That was definitely an OH SHIT moment

Wow... some real horror stories here... Unfortunately, I have NO IDEA what anyone is talking about... I've NEVER HAD EVEN THE SLIGHTEST ISSUE with my '03... Hell, mine even changes its own oil...

:bustingup

Aye... When you heard the snap... I can only imagine the "WTF!" moment lol.

I remember refreshing the suspension on the 4.4. Came down to the balljoint on the steering knuckle. Used the tool to seperate the thrust arm from the knuckle no problem. Came to unbolting the ball joint from the hub. I think it was a E 45T bolt. Tried the CRC Freeze Off first because I got it from from Bimmerfest so decided to give it a try. Well that stuff sucks. Put some torque on it and the bolt snapped clean off. Great. Try a bunch of other things that didnt work. Finally just took the whole assembly off and brought i to the shop. Viced the knuckle on the bed of the Drill Press and started to center drill the bolt out. Got it all out and started to ream the rest of the sidewalls of the bolt out so I could use a tap to chase the threads. Get the tap and slowly go in and backing it back out. "BINK" tap broke inside the hole. AWESOME. Ended up using a cobalt drill bit to get it all out. Reshaped the tap and started again.

All I wanted to do was replace a ball joint and then I ended up with this mess. 5 hours of drilling and crap later got it all back. Go to put the new ball joint in the cup... found the boot was torn. MOTHER&$^#%$(!!!!. I just put everything down and went to bed after that. The stars aligned perfectly to the point it didn't want me to get this done. lol

What's a VPG? Google didn't help me for this term.


I go into every maintenance/repair assuming something else is going to break or cause issues. Then I'm super happy when everything goes smoothly, and not frustrated when it doesn't. If you get mad/frustrated working on your own cars, maybe you shouldn't, it's supposed to be fun as well as saving a lot of money.
It helps to have a spare car or two though. It's not as much fun when you've lent out one of those spare cars to a friend and then X decides it's going to need a multi-day repair during the work week...

VPG = valley pan gasket (for you V8 guys)

R/R'ing the heads wasn't an oh shit moment, but it was a learning experience. I learned that it is much easier to re-install the block drain plugs BEFORE setting the heads.

Having something go wrong during first startup after fitting the VAC heads would have been an oh shit moment. But all went very well. :thumbup:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...9A99980FD9.jpg

VPG is the Valley Pan Gasket. While I agree with what you are saying about it should be fun... you can't honestly tell me you've gone into a job and pretty much every single thing isn't going right still makes you chipper. I mean there are times I get frustrated and then need to just step back from it, expecially if I have been working at the same task for 40 minutes. I.e. the VANOS Solv seal flange. What a BIOTCH! The rubber had welded itself to the SOLV and the last ditch effort was to drill into the flange and crate a pull system with 2 self tapping screws and forced the damn thing out.

Well hey, looks like you got a straight shot to the VPG now. lol

LOL if someone gets down this far to do a VPG, they took a few too many things apart. :rofl:

First time after owning it I punched it and the upper rad hose blew off .Replaced complete cooling system after that.

Duh (headslap), can't believe I didn't figure that out. Speaking of, I'm hoping the last person to fix the VPG on our car just did a lousy job of cleanup because while I was replacing the backing plate I saw a bunch of residue down there. Haven't noticed any substantial coolant loss yet, so hopefully I'm ok until next summer. And had I 'properly' replaced the backing plate/CCV valve, I would have gone ahead and replaced the valley pan, leaking or not. But I cheated and left the intake manifold on the car. First time I've ever sat on top of an engine to work on it. :D
OK, so I can't say I have a smile on my face the whole time I'm working on everything. There's definitely times while at the moment when I'm mad at stuck parts or I try to cheat and skip a step of removing something, and figure out 10 steps later that I need to go back and actually complete the step I skipped because it is for sure blocking removal of something else. But I take those *opportunities* to step away from the car, drink some beer or have a snack, then go back to it refreshed. Everytime something refuses to go right no matter what, if I stop for the day or do something else, then come back to it, I see what I was doing wrong or a different way to do it, and that bolt I was fighting with for an hour now takes 10 seconds and practically falls out by itself.

The reasons I quit being a professional mechanic: it was taking the fun out of working on cars (why do jobs do this to fun things?), and recently having kids at the time made me think more about my future health, and all the older mechanics didn't look all that healthy...

Fueling up the bastich like forever... then I remembered to turn off the engine.

First DIY oil change on my '01 X...sometime in the first year I had it.
I had done oil/filter changes on dozens of cars ,and several m'cycles over the decades.

But, I was not prepared for that 8 qts of hot azz oil gushing out of the pan, when I cracked the oil drain plug. I had a large capacity catch pan, a few newspapers spread under/around the pan, but I had slud up and under on my back, with no jack stands, and when I cracked that drain plug it was like a hot, black Niagara Falls pouring out. :yikes:

I got better at it, devising a piece of bent cardboard to give the oil a 'trough' to run out, and using cardboard 'dams' to contain it in the catch pan. But, for a first time X oil changer, it was a surprise, never having had a car that gushed 8 qts, when one is pinned in, under there... :D

Ah yes, the first oil change... I remember buying a new catch pan because the ones I had were only good to 5 quarts... The one I bought was the one that was closed on top with a drain hole and a "neat" crease in the plastic to rest the oil filter on to drain... 8 quarts of hot spewing oil splashing around and then the drain hole was too small and couldn't let it go down fast enough... I think the pan caught 4 quarts and the garage floor caught the other 4. After that, I bought an opened top container and since then, the garage has been free of oil. Well besides the usual culprits, you know the one million o rings that are failing, the various gaskets that are leaking, and a banjo bolt here and there that just don't seem to understand oil should be going into whatever they are supplying to an NOT coaxing itself out around the copper crush washer... you know, the normal leaks. lol

The first time was when my very controlling and extremely alpha father-in-law got in my X smoking a cigarette, with an overflowing jack and water and slammed the door. Oh s@#t, I just snapped at him to ditch the drink, no smoking and don't slam the door.

The second was when my wife and I were cruising down the tollway keeping up with traffic at 80mph. A Texas stye pickup truck (full gun rack, big tires and a bumper sticker that said--do it in the mud) streaked by us and promptly blew a front tire. Tire tread was flying and parts of his fender, he hit the center barrier and lost control. I yanked the wheel and went across 3+ lanes while my wife screamed OH MY GOD, I corrected and we went on down the road. I watched a three car wreck in my mirror. About a mile later I thought, Oh s@#t, I can't remember if I looked to see if anyone was in the other lanes and when I did it I had no idea what was going to happen when I tried to get it straightened out. My wife was still saying OMG. Of course, I said, relax, no problem, we hardly squealed the tires--as if we could have heard them.

what banjo bolts did you find leaking? I'd like to check mine as I thought leaking hoses were always the rubber weeping.

@bcredliner - I'll guess that you're a heads up driver and being always aware of the crazy drivers around you, took the first available emergency exit that you were subconsciously aware of. That, or you caused the 3 car pile up and are now a wanted suspect.

My pucker moment, not as bad as others, was after just getting it and detailing it in the garage and leaving the hatch up. I was tired it was late and proud of what I had accomplished I hit the garage door opener to close the door and I watched the garage door arm come within millimeters of the diffuser on top hatch and I watched in horror almost frozen and then quickly leaped in front of the infrared eye to stop the door before got to glass.

Oh $!*^, I'm thinking so hard but have nothing to add to this thread :wow: :bustingup

:tantrum:
Aye... that was like the trifecta right there. A demanding FIL, and overflowing sticky drink, and then a door slam to top it off. I was waiting for "And the window was rolled all the way down. By the time I rolled it up, the window was no bueno." lol

As for the accident. You may not have realized it, but I bet for a split second you looked before doing the move you did so I'm sure the pile up was because of surprise of the "Git-R-Done" truck spewing its ammo and maybe a .50 Cal flew out of the tailgate. Well at least you got out of that sticky situation unscathed.

One time I was driving down the Parkway and was behind a Dump Truck. Work has been going on along Parkway South in Jersey for i Dunno the better part of 15 years. Ricky probably knows where I am coming from. Anyways, was driving and I start seeing small black pieces flying in the air. By the time I said "What is that?" I just see a tire coming towards the windshield. I didn't hit the brakes or swerve... I actually don't remember what I was thinking. I just remember watching it the whole time til the tire hit the glass. It was a spectacular sight to see. Thankfully the glass didn't cave in much. State trooper saw and wrote a report, went to the dealer and got new glass. That was before I knew about Komfort Glass. DAMNNNN

As for that Banjo bolt. There are various ones. 3 of mine on the 4.4 was leaking and I fixed those. That was a PITA job.

Happened in January this year. I was driving on 494 near the airport and I hit a big patch of black ice. I started sliding sideways going about 60mph on my drivers side with traffic. Kinda looked like a drift from the Tokyo drift movie. Anyways I cut across all three lanes in a matter of seconds and I somehow was able to end up facing the right way and I only slowed down about 10mph so I just kept driving. I looked back in my rearview mirror to make sure I hadnt caused a huge pileup, which I hadnt thank GOD! But there was a huge double trailer semi truck that I must have just barely missed when I cut across the third lane. All my Oh $#@! moments in my x have only taken place here in MN. Looking forward to moving away from here soon, I hope.

Mine is a classic for this model....It rained all day a few weeks ago but at night it went below freezing. So, the next morning,doors were frozen shut but I eventually opened the driver's side. Tried to close it but the door kept on bounching back open. I decided I would blast the heater while I was loading the X with my winter rims and new tires ( so thats 8 tires plus rims in the X) I even put one tire on the front seat cause no more space left in the back. Anyways , I hop in and my door still didn't want to lock shut and kept on bouncing. I basically started to loose it right there and was unlocking and locking the door frantically. I was already late for my appointment but suddenly , it locked. It locked so well that it locked me in. I couldn't get out of my own truck. I tried the window but it was frozen shut (forget about the rear it was packed with tires) I tried the passenger front window and that one worked but I had a tire on the front seat remember???? I had to throwwww the tire through the window then had to crawl out the window. I can only imagine how funny that was if you were my neighbour watching the whole scene unfold.
When I finally got everything working and snapped out of my uncontrollable anger, I looked around realizing someone could have been watching. You know the feeling when you come to and say: Shit , I hope nobody saw me!
I called my indy telling him I was late and drove in shame out of my drive way...

You mean the raritan to asbury toll section going southbound? or from asbury to toms river toll? Work going on southbound there FOREVER LOL, if i go to the shore in the summer its either past 10 PM on a Friday night or racing home at 5 PM on Sunday haha

Mine was my recent wheel bearing/CV axle change. After spending a week and half toiling in my garage I finally got everything back together late Wed night and couldn't wait to test drive after a long and difficult DIY to relish satisfaction. As soon as I left my drive way the front end wobbled. I slowed down then stopped and rested my head on the steering wheel in complete deflated frustration for what seemed like 5 mins. I slowly backed up to go back home only to then realize I hadn't torqued the lug nuts.

Ive had many, will add once i finish watching "За спичками"

my moment was after traded my 2008 g6 , I brought the family down all proud to pick up the X5 we left the used car dealer headed out on the 401 in toronto on our way home which was about 3.5hrs away about 20 min on the highway transfail safe light came on and couldn`t go pass 80km/hr had no 5th gear I called the dealer I purchased the x5 freaken out on him he came out where we were with a rental suv and he said he`ll get the x5 looked at and see what it needs for repairs. I figured something with tranny so I told him if he still wants to make an even trade for the g6 I want the tranny rebuilt. So the dealer gets the x checked out and guess what tranny needs to be rebuilt they said they would take care of it I said ok as long as there is no charge to me ,which they never did charge me a cent. 2 weeks later I go back down with the rental they provided at no charge to me and picked the x5 up and it ran like a charm ,still does. The only other issue was the front axles and the drivers side latch needed replaced,I did the latch but I got the 2 axles done through the extended warranty which I only had to pay a 250.00 deductable . and its been good ever since no probs ,knock on wood lol. so theres my holy ?%$@# story. hope you all like it :)

My 1st oh $hit moment was 1st winter after moving from FL to PA. 10/29/2011 we got our 1st snow and I thought having AWD I was fine, until I came to my 1st red light at the bottom of a hill...when right thru like I was on skates! The fact that I was on summer tired didn't cross my mind :( but Let's just say I looked like this ...
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/12/07/3emu2y2a.jpg

And then you realized you still had to do the other side, LOL!

Well atleast the dealer owned it. I know most dealers give a 3 mo/12K warranty on most used cars so atleast you got a rebuilt tranny out of it. But yeah, that does suck. Here you are driving you're new whip and you now have to start paying for it then BOOM, $3K later. lol at least its all fixed.

:woot:

I didn`t have any payments just even trade for g6(which was paid off) and I paid 1000.00 for warranty for 3 yrs. plus 250 deductable to do the front axles.

Today!!!

Get in the X5, first time driving it in the snow... We have barely had a dusting, maybe 1/4" or so.

I back out of the driveway, lightly hit the gas the instantly the 4x4 light starts flashing and the car squabbles to find tracktion. Get up to about 20mph, stop sign at the end of the street. I gently press the brakes, the ABS kicks in and the pedal gets firmer and firmer, all 4 wheels locked up and I slide clean through the stop sign, doesn't even feel like the brakes slowed me down one bit. Let off and pressed them again, ABS bites, car stops about an inch from slamming a foot high curb.

I have all season Yoko's on 18" wheels, 235/60/18. You would think with AWD, ABS and Traction/Stability control this truck could handle the snow. I swear my old rear drive bimmers smoked this thing in the snow. I can't believe an SAV/SUV is this horrible on less than dry roads.

Looks like I'm shopping for snow tires. If I'd have known I would need snow tires again I'd have bought a 5 series wagon for hauling my bikes. Wow BMW.


Edit: I just got in my girlfriend's POS 2005 Nissan Sentra to run to the store. It would blow my X5 away in the snow. It didn't slide at the stop sign, barely spun the tires when taking off and was solid when turning as where my X5 would start to slide at even low speed. Both cars have all season tires, her's has Falken, the X5 Yoko's. I'm baffled.

ABS stopped pulsing and wheels completely locked up?

Reading many posts by owners in snow country, they seem to have a winter set of wheels and tires. Hopefully, some of them will provide some input.

As you know, it could be just the tires. I wouldn't think you would need snow tires for Chicago winters. I assume your tires have lots to tread left.

My tires are brand new, installed before i bought it. Abs pulsed, pedal got firmer and firmer until it was rock hard and the car just slid.

I have all seasons and they don`t seem to bad, still doesn`t have good stopping power though. winter tires would make it stop faster no doubt. there are some guys on here with winter tires and they say it drives just fine in the snow and stops just as good . what kind of tires do you have on your x5 brandon

I'm not sure of the exact model, but they are Yokohama all seasons, M and S rated. 235/60/18

Sounds like you may have a faulty vacuum pump or brake booster. Not unusual on BMWs. Before buying other tires I would determine if the brakes are working properly.

Doesn't matter if it is 4X4, has ABS or any other stopping or starting assists. If the tires are not effective on ice or snow, especially on a vehicle as heavy as an X5 it is not going to be fun. I suggest reading through the following thread and perhaps make a new post: http://www.xoutpost.com/bmw-sav-foru...endations.html

Everything functions properly, just serviced the entire brake system as well as replacing all the brake fluid. It's a beast on dry or wet (rain) roads. Also handles itself on dirt roads. It just has issues in the snow.

I just got home from running to the store. I found that if I really feather the brakes it's ok, plan far ahead for braking and drive like an old lady and it's ok. Still not what I'd expect out of an AWD SAV/SUV though. I may pick up some snow tires at the end of winter when people start selling them cheap for next year. For now I'll just deal with it.

You're certainly not alone, many people think AWD SUVs should be better in slippery conditions, but as for stopping, they will always be worse than the equivalent RWD or FWD vehicle. They are heavier (thus more inertia), usually have wider tires that float on top, and nothing about AWD makes them stop better.

My 535i (rwd) with Dunlop Wintersport M3s started and stopped better on snow and ice than either my X3 or X5 on all season tires.

another thread going right now:
http://www.xoutpost.com/bmw-sav-foru...tml#post968595

Don't blame the car for the tires' lackluster performance. Some all-seasons are better than others, and apparently your gf's Falkens are better than your Yoko's.
And like JCL says, you have a few things going against you. Your X5 is almost twice as heavy as her Sentra, which means twice the inertia you have to stop, even if you had the same tires, that alone would mean it should take quite a bit longer to stop (in low traction). Wider tires are the opposite of what you want for snow. Her Sentra probably has 195's? And your AWD means you have twice as many (+1 more) rotating masses adding rotational inertia also making it harder to stop.
Unlike JCL though, AWD should always be better at accelerating in snow. My horribly slow 325iX is a beast in the snow and must gain 50HP when its below freezing. My only complaint about the snow tires is that it requires alot more effort to do any good drifting in the snow now.
**misread JCL's post - yes, any car with snow tires will be better than any car without snow tires**
Tire rack has many good video reviews/comparison of snow tires vs all seasons. And pay attention to the comparison of studless vs studded. Studded tires are an unnecessary evil, unless you are ice racing.