Interesting comments, since my wife just found an E70 2009 30i that she just loves and wants to buy; 50K miles. OK. only 6 years old instead of the E53 I bought 4 years ago with 84K miles (8 yrs old at the time), but after all I've gone through with it, I'm very hesitant on another X5 purchase.

I own a truck, and it rides better than an X5. It also has new tires and I have more than 1000 pounds in a 1/2-ton truck so maybe the ride is softened a bit.

I do not have enough money to keep an X5 filled with enough groceries to make the ride soft.

My wife is is happy with a $39 bag from Kohls. She's a function-over-form kind of gal.

She shies away from the Kia Santa Fe's of the world because they are shoddy. She wants reliability high on the list, but a reliable vehicle that sounds like it is about to blow up kinda spoils the deal. She based her X5 desire on the four 3 Series cars we have owned.

My truck is an F150 with loaded tool boxes mounted to the bed rails and a ladder rack. I know trucks. An empty truck is what the E53 feels like. Sadly, an empty 3/4-ton truck.

I want an E53 as bad as she wants one, but the two that I have driven so far are killing my enthusiasm.

IMO inline 6 is too dull with 6 speed gearbox.
I drove 2002 and 2006 L6 within a couple of hours and 2006 wouldn't be my choice.And even more,now I have a 2006 530XI wagon and call me outdated but I still like the AWD system my 2000 4.4i has.It is so much more predictable.When yaw spin is detected system is correcting everything immediately while the X-Drive is slow to kick in and rear is already at least 25º into spin.Different cars you may say,yes,but the system principles are the same I think.I am yet to try the 2006 xDrive on e53,but I am skeptical.
Also 4.4i is so much heavier than the 530XI,but it feels so much more powerful.

As fiend of mine came from MDX to a 2006 4.4i and just loves it.

just my 2¢

With new Michelin Energy on 18" rims with non-sport suspension it feels decent.The position is still like a truck,but the ride quality is much improved compared to the old Falkens it used to have.So tire do make a huge difference,they are still new and soft.
If you want less noise then get one without a panoramic sunroof(moonroof).
Side mirrors are so noisy,so some replace them with m5 ones,I think...
My wife loves X5,even though it harder to drive than our 530XI wagon.Go figure.I like them both for different qualities.

another 2¢

On the drive to the specimen(s) we found so far, I asked if she would be cool with a 5 Series car. I'm perfectly cool with the car, she wants to be higher so the X5 is in her future -- until she drives one. I gotta keep looking for one that is nice before she will drive it. So far, I've looked at two fails.

Like other had posted she should drive not only an E53, but other crossover SUV.

Sadly to say that the reliability of an E53 X is not the same as a rear wheel drive BMW. From splines on the TC that get chewed up because the drive shaft splines were too short to the worm gear that get chewed up in the TC because it's made of plastic to door handle that fails when the weather is cold, to window regulator that fails to radiator and expansion tanks that needs to replaced at around 100,000 miles, to CCV valves on both the I6 and V8 that can hydrolock an engine unless your daily commute is 50 miles one way so that the engine can burn off the condensation in the oil.

Why do I own a BMW X5 then? I needed a tow vehicle to tow my boat and jetski, and carry the family bikes and kayak.

Then something is wrong with either the suspension or tires on your X. Mine is quiet, smooth, and stable. And it handles great.

jdstrickland, I'll give my experience. We purchased ours (05 4.4i sport) back in July 14. It has some oil leaks (valve covers, upper tc, alternator housing bracket, etc) and we were to pay an indy to do ALL the leaks... it's at least $2000. It also has bad valve stem seals... combined with the above leaks that's $4500. Bad tension arm bushings and engine mounts... that makes $6000 to fix everything. I am going to do all the work myself and with parts and tools... it's still going to cost ~$2000. From the stories I read here, our experience is pretty typical of a used e53 purchase. Ours was from a small dealer and cost us $10000 w/tt&l (out the door $10k).

If you (or your wife) does not like firm/sporty rides... the X5 might not be a great vehicle for you. My wife and I love it as it feels planted and confident like our BMW coupes and sedans. Ours drives amazingly even with the bad front bushings and engine mounts. I am anxious to get it in the garage and do the necessary suspension work to get rid of the shimmy at idle and the rare thunk from bad front bushings.

If I were in your shoes... I'd probably find her something else. As an example, we got my wife a 2006 E83 X3 mtech package (pick it up this Saturday) to supplement my X5. The X5 was a little too big for her... and I wanted the reliability of the M54 6 cylinder for her to drive. Much less to go wrong. The X5 also comes with the M54 but has a much harder time moving the weight of the car versus the weight of the X3.

Hope that helps. I know this place sounds a lot like doom and gloom, but that's because it can be. The E53 is just not a pillar of reliability. But it is one helluva fun vehicle to drive when it's all going right.