HELP!!! I can still working on this after several days….good lord.
1st question, removing the upper control arm- how do you do it. I have removed the nut and slackened the bolt, but cannot get it to open/loosen enough to get the arm out. I have beat on it pretty good.

Anybody got any tips? Please help.

I'm not certain what you mean by "slacken" but you need to completely REMOVE the bolt.

the manual states to slacken the bolt. I have tried like hell to get the bolt out, is there a trick?

We're talking about bolt 2 in this pic right?

https://www.dropbox.com/s/0hyxaa2xdy...Susp1.jpg?dl=0

That one HAS to come out, no way around it.

Also, double checking again, you have to jack up the entire front end, if you try and just jack up one side at a time the swaybar will prevent the wheel from dropping far enough to give you adequate space to remove the strut.

yessir, bolt 2.

I have the struts out, I cannot get them back in and THAT is when I realized the upper control arms must be removed. other bolts come right out, but both left and right sides upper control arm bolts do not want to come out.

the car is fully jacked up and both sides have full suspension travel.

I

There is a flat cut on the ball joint stud and that's where bolt no. 2 gets locked and prevent the ball joint to come out.So you may have to push or pull the ball joint little to free the bolt no. 2.
Also try to use some wedge to split open the groove.

Sorry to hear you're having so much trouble. Those bolts go through a groove in the shaft of the ball joint so that there's no way for the ball joint to come out without removing the bolt first. If it's corroded, after the nut is off you should be able to put a socket and breaker bar on the other side and turn it to break it loose.