Saved from the tow truck
 

I went to start my X5 yesterday and received a message on the display. "ABS Malfunction" and the engine wouldn't start. Several more trys and I then got a "Stability control Malfunction" display. Bad news all around!

I called for a tow truck and a rental car. While I was waiting I wondered if the battery may be low? I checked and it was 10 volts. BINGO! Cancelled the tow and rental and found a perfect replacement battery, exact OEM made by Johnson Controls for $210.00. Spent an hour installing the battery and all is well.

Funny how the bmw bitches about battery low when you are sitting with engine off and radio on, but in your case it didn't say so.

Idiotic programming! Or $erivice friendly

Also funny because if the car didn't start and there were no warning messages to "help", your first instinct probably would've pointed you to the battery anyways.

Exactly. Possibly the battery was so low that the vehicle status circuit was inoperative?

Well it was my second guess. I was led astray with the ABS and stability warnings.

That was my point.

The internal logic, within the car, should be "if there isnt enough power to start the car and keep it running, then IGNORE any error messages from ALL modules- they are probably spurious"

OP- good save!